Waking Up in the Netherworld!

Bleak reality!

The T.V. shouts a warning, as my body slowly greets the day

 

I'd say "I", but my brain hit the snooze alarm

 

I look all around for the hot princess I was hitting on,

 

Before it dawns on me that I dreamed the whole thing

 

I should have known; an actual woman? 

 

I fell asleep with channel five casting flickering shadows

 

On the wall, and now I'm jolted awake by

 

Some dude telling me to seek medical attention

 

For an erection lasting four hours; whew, I'm safe!

 

"Coffee, coffee!" a stranger's voice screams in

 

The dark recesses of my brain.  "No s**t!" I shout back,

 

As if I was verbal jousting with myself!

 

I need to get up, but see, that's going to be a problem,

 

Because my muscles feel like I've been drinking '-5 Hour Energy",

 

My gumption has left the building, and it 'aint coming back!

 

My muscles would be aching, if I had any

 

Salvation in liquid form is clear out in the kitchen,

 

And here I am, wrestling with my blankets,

 

Wallowing in a sea of fabric, no closer to

 

Actually rising; oh God, the pain! 

 

What I need is a block and pulley system hooked

 

Somehow to the ceiling, so I can hoist on a rope

 

And rise, but that would require arm strength,

 

And I just never have the strength to do

 

Anything about never having any strength,

 

So I'll resort to plan B; lay here and b***h!  

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Vidya Bacchus]

Lol....that's one way to get out of bed.What I'm wondering is where did the princess go?

[Michael Stevens]

Oh, she told me she had to go and..well, come to think of it, she just left; huh?

[Vidya Bacchus]

That is so rude.I have half a mind to hunt her down and ....shake her hand lol

[Michael Stevens]

I know it, and...hey!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha sorry I am mean its a character flaw.I mean hunt her down and smack her.

[Michael Stevens]

SURE you did!

[Vidya Bacchus]

No really I did.I am hurt now you don't believe the lie I just told you.

[Michael Stevens]

Oh, well, as long as it was a TRUE lie!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes ,yes it was the truest lie ever :P

[Michael Stevens]

Well, then, it's okay!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Okay good lol

[Michael Stevens]

Wait, what's that supposed to mean?

[Michael Stevens]

That was my smart-a*s attempt at humor at 6.30 in the fricking m
orning!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha are u pissed or are u confused?

[Michael Stevens]

I'm pissed about being so confused!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh well then there is no cure for you because you live in a constant state of pissy confusion lol

[Michael Stevens]

See, this is a great example, I'm confused about what your comment means; could you use 'prissy' in a sentence? Lol!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha you are hopeless mister :)

[Michael Stevens]

Ha, there you're wrong; I can jump just fine, or I could before I got my head bashed in--err--you said HOPELESS, not HOPLESS; I can't argue about that one!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahahaha you are hopeless and apparently hopless as well.Hey mikey :)

[Michael Stevens]

'Hopless in Seattle'?

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha that will never catch on :)

[Michael Stevens]

I sure 'hop' you're wrong about that!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh good lord you are truly "hopless" lol

[Marie]

THis is what I used to do when it was hard to get out of bed: "Lela," I'd say to myself, "just sit up and put your feet on the floor. THen you can go back to bed, I promise." Then "Lela, just stand up, and then you can lie down again." In this manner I would coax myself into the bathroom and into my clothes, until I was finally too awake to go back to bed.

[Michael Stevens]

That is a great example of what I was shooting for!