Rudolph the Bulbous-Nosed Reindeer (?)

Posted the wrong poem under this title before; let's see if I can get a fricking clue!

You know Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen,

 

In your stupidity, even voted for Nixon

 

But do you recall

 

The most ludicrous reindeer of all?

 

******

Rudolph the Bulbous-Nosed Reindeer

 

Had a real beacon on his face,

 

That lighted up whenever he'd a few

 

Talking just a wee bit of a taste

 

 

All of the normal reindeer,

 

Used to get up in his grill

 

They used to flip poor Rudolph

 

So much s**t, he'd soon had his fill

 

******

 

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, his old snozzola was burning bright,

 

So the barkeep cut him off

 

He said, "Rudolph, with your nose so bright, what's say you call it a night?"

 

 

This royally pissed off old Rudolph

 

Who went back out to his sleigh,

 

Grabbed a bat and went back inside

 

"You want reindeer games?  Okay, let's play!",

 

 

Glasses and bowls of popcorn, he gave them all quite a ride,

 

"Hey, man!" the bartender then did shout

 

This anger s**t he just couldn't abide

 

Rudolph figured, "Screw this crap, I'm out!" 

 

 

******

 

Rudolph the Bulbous-Nosed Reindeer had to then flee the state

 

Regret came much too slow

 

With prison and court staring him in the face

 

Being caught he didn't want to know

 

 

With all of the other prisoners

 

Who knew what they'd want?

 

They might try to bugger old Rudolph

 

So to prison he said not

 

 

 ******

 

Then one year later, Christmas Eve

 

He quietly flew back to town

 

He said, "No way; I've been gone too fricking long

 

I'll be damned if they'll see me gone!"

 

******

 

Then all the normal reindeer,

 

They started up with their trash-talking s**t

 

They verbally ripped Rudolph a new one

 

With their completely classless wit!

 

Reviews

[Marie]

Rudolph needs to get with Fisty and Christmas Carol to celebrate the season.

[Michael Stevens]

I think you're right Marie; I didn't notice until this morning I had used the title, but posted Fisty Rises Again!; again! Whoops!

[Cody Williams]

This is great Michael! Something funny to get us ready for the holiday season. Thanks for sharing it! Merry Christmas!

-CW

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you and Merry Christmas to you, also!