Blue Collar Snow Brutes

Just your everyday horses, who get drunk!

 

Henry and Willard were done with their work for the day

 

Now it was time to kick up their heels to let loose and play

 

They were owned by a mean a*****e by the name of McGill

 

Of his overlord bullshit they'd each had their fill

 

He worked their asses off from dawn until dusk

 

To them, a good time away from work was an absolute must

 

Ordinarily, regular dirt they did plow,

 

But not today, no, today blew, and how!

 

For it had snowed, and they thought that meant a day of leisure,

 

But when old a*****e saw white, he vilely cursed her,

 

"That b***h from up north!" meaning Miss Snow

 

And from there the unbelievably nasty curse words did flow

 

He put them to work clearing the road,

 

With no thought to their back breaking work load

 

He just sat in the sled and whipped their asses

 

They were just two of millions who made up the blue collar masses

 

So when the tavern they reached, yes, a tavern just for a horse,

 

They did what blue-collars' do of course,

 

They started chug-a-lugging like there was no tomorrow,

 

Binge-drinking in an effort to escape their sorrow

 

Yes, just like you or I, when the old job sucks, we mainline beer

 

Of course, the next day will be hell, it's always much too near,

 

But for this evening, they sat at a nearby drinking stall

 

Also there was Lightning--a bigger dick there never was, he'd call

 

You a stump-humper, hey, we all know the type

 

He'd throw his weight around, call you an a*s wipe

 

An afraid dude, who covers it with bluster

 

A loud mouth b*****d--an out-of-control luster

 

The night mares all left again if Lighting was there

 

They knew enough to leave and take care

 

Drink did strange things to him, but when told maybe he shouldn't,

 

He's scoff and say, "I don't give a s**t what you think! I couldn't

 

Care less!" to the horse unwise enough to speak

 

Well, nature took it's course and Henry had to take a leak

 

He was doing his business and getting a kick out of the graffiti,

 

When Lightning totted through the door, "Could this night be

 

Any more f-ed up?" mumbled Henry to himself, or at least

 

That's what he thought, but the b*****d-beast

 

Must have heard, cause he trotted up to Henry, still donating to Save Our Water,

 

And whinnied "What was that you said, there,

 

Galloping Dick Head? Maybe you and I should talk about things outside?"

 

"Look, I don't want any trouble, I just came in to try

 

Draining the main vein, if you know what I mean"

 

Lightning came unglued, "Chicken s**t! You're the biggest dick head I've seen"

 

"You out to know, you hang around the men's room so much!"

 

Shot back Henry, for now he was hacked--a bunch

 

More degrading adjectives shot from his horse's mouth

 

Then all peaceful diplomacy headed south

 

The battle was joined, the tavern bathroom fight was on!

 

Just as Henry suspected, it didn't take him very long

 

To dispatch ole' Lightning, he took a chance

 

As Lightning reared up into a fighters' stance,

 

He sucker-punched him, before he was ready,

 

For Lightning was too cocky--and much too heady

 

Out like a light went Lightning like lightning

 

"You of all horses should know anything goes when fighting!"

 

And so Henry trotted away, and Willard and he left,

 

Leaving ole' Lightning rolling around the dirty bathroom floor, bereft

 

Of any common sense--with not a backwards worried look,

 

And with that, you can close the book

 

On ole' Lightning, he got what you should expect

 

When you run your mouth--physically wrecked

 

Because tomorrow was a work day,

 

Henry had dealt with that a*****e, the blue collar way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Marie]

The blue horse collar Way?

Great story.

[Michael Stevens]

Thanks Marie, and I don't know!