Dear Winifred Vs. Dear Gertrude!

Rude-Off!

                                                       

          We thought we'd let two rival sisters give their advice for the same question.

 

Dear Winifred, I really want my man Harold to pop the question, but I'm not sure how I can bring this about. Any ideas? Signed Growing Impatient

 

Dear Growing Impatient, what exactly do you mean? What's the damn question you'd like him to pop? I'll just have to guess, then. "Where in the hell did you learn how to cook?  My god, woman, when I attempt to choke down the s**t you make for dinner, it's like I swallowed a catapult that returns the gruel to the open air, like one disgusting arc of putrid. If that's the way you cook, SEE YA!" I hope this is the question, but it may not be, because you are too lazy to make you question clear! Winifred

 

Dear Gertrude, I really want my man Harold to pop the question, but I'm not sure how I can bring this about. Any ideas? Signed Growing Impatient

 

 Dear Growing impatient, if you first wrote to my sister, Winifred, you can just ignore any advice you get from her, as it'll be worse than useless. See, my sister suffers from dong-nose disease, which causes delusions of grandeur, and leaves the victim with the mistaken impression that they know jack-s**t about anything. You'd have better luck trying to levitate than her 'advice' doing crap for you. Gertrude

Reviews

[Marie]

Well she never did get her answer--just bad advice and advice on not following bad advice.