Happy Birthday!

It's the gift that keeps on giving!

                                                        

Happy Birthday!

 If you're looking for real poetry, this ain't it!

Well, I didn't want to come to the party empty-handed,

or maybe it would be more accurate if I said, 'empty diapered?'

My Mom brought something, a sweater or some such.

I can get away bringing my gift cause I'm young, but not by much!

 

I have a built-in excuse, you know, the baby thing.

What I mean by getting away with it, are the s****y gifts I bring.

I absolutely hate these birthday bullshit bashes,

but I don't get to vote on attending, so I vote with my a*s!

 

Everyone sees me and they say, 'oh, how cute!'

So I'm going the 'steaming pile' route.

If I have to be here, everyone will pay

by me dropping a load, how much do you think it weighs?

 

My favorite words are, "this party is over!"

What, nobody wants to see 'The Brown Cliffs of Dover?'

I'm telling you, this baby deal is the perfect disguise.

 Yes, this is one present guaranteed  to bring tears to your eyes!