Target Acquired, And Now It Won't Unacquire!

The crack cocaine of politicians!

                                                                

I was so happy when old dead ferret head decided to run,

for he's what we like to call a 'target-rich environment."

Humor just slams into your head with incredible speed.

 Just look at the man! He's basically a walking punch line.

I was told that now I had an inexhaustible joke supply.

At first, I was ecstatic--I could write jokes about him in my sleep (what do you mean, 'isn't that always what you do?')

Very funny--do you see me laughing? No? That's because I'm not!

Anyway, like I said, at first I was happy, but now, not so much.

For apparently, once the target has been acquired,

it won't unacquire--I walk around with dead ferret head

constantly filling my head, to the exclusion of any other thoughts.

I almost forgot to eat lunch, because I was thinking of

one-liner after one-liner, faster than I could type them.

Do you have any idea how horrible it is to just be sitting there,

and suddenly you are a rapid-fire conduit for rich jerk jokes?

For massive ego jokes? Let me tell you, it is a nightmare!

I long for the days when presidential candidates were so bland,

you had to resort to telling 'he's so bland,...' jokes.

Ah, those were the days!