The Rug Has Eyes!

Weird, even for me!

                                                                                  

     He saw the chance he'd been waiting for, the chance to get sweet revenge for all the lame, dead-animal-on-his-head and obviously-a-toupee jokes, by unfunny people who went right for the obvious. Didn't they know he was right here? They didn't stop to think he could hear everything. Heck, they didn't even think of him as a person. Well, he wasn't, but come on! Their cracks about him looking much like a dead ferret really hurt. The man whose head he so expertly covered hated them, and lashed out at anyone who dared make fun of his lopsided hair, while he just had to lay on the man's head in silence. Sure, not having a mouth was part of it--okay, all of it, but he shouldn't have to take it lying down. After tonight, he would no longer. He was going to take it up a notch, several notches in fact. The next wisecrack about 'the abomination on his owner's head was going to unleash all the pent-up rage he'd been storing up inside.

 

     "That hair! What was he thinking? Like we wouldn't notice he's wearing a skull cap?" said the unfortunately-clueless jerk-weed reporter, who thought he couldn't be heard. Luckily, his owner hadn't heard, or he'd be having a s**t-fit. Fricking reporters, their prying and probing and questioning, simply because they wouldn't just take what his owner said on faith. So far, they'd basically given his owner a free pass, but that was changing. He could tell his owner was afraid now that they'd uncover the truth, that he was clueless. So far, he'd managed to bluff and intimidate his way through. Well, tonight, that b*****d-reporter was going to get a nasty surprise, when 'the toupee' beat him like a drum! All he had to do was slide down, and--and--hey, wait a minute, he couldn't move! He struggled and struggled, but it was hopeless, he was stuck. Oh, sure, this time his owner had fastened his a*s securely. Usually, he was lax in securing him, but, for some reason, today he's really clamped him down. Why? Then he looked at the sky, and noticed it was windy, very much so. Son of a b***h, today, of all days, just when he'd decided he wasn't going to take any more.

 

     His owner flung him onto the dresser and got into bed. The lights went out, and Harry was left in the dark with his what-ifs? Son of a b***h!

 

The End

 

     

Reviews

[mattavelli]

It's funny Michael.id like to see Harry latch onto Hilary.

[Michael Stevens]

Thanks Matt, and as for seeing Harry latching on to Hillary, no, believe me, you wouldn't, one dead ferret head is too many!

[M. Black]

Told from an interesting perspective. :) an enjoyable read :) well done

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you much, M.C--I thought this was too weird to post, but the I thought to myself, "Self? Just go ahead--everyone thinks of you as a freak already, so what's it going to hurt?"

[M. Black]

Believe me, I've read (and wrote) weirder things than this :) don't think of it as weird, but unique :)

[Michael Stevens]

Sound a LOT better than 'weird!'