Hashish Jim

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"My name is Jim, Hashish Jim, and I want to share with you my secret for achieving a mental state that is mellow, dude! Do you find life beating you down until you're just a nub of depression? Are you stretched tighter than a hooker's spandex? Well, for only a intestinal--err--infinitesimal one-time payment of $45, I'll send you my new book, 'Everything's Groovy, Everything's Fine!' 

I guarantee you, even if your life is a flaming ball of s**t, you'll be cool with it, and just say, 'Whatever, dude, eh, ha, ha!" That's because my patented process will turn the s**t you've grown into "Bakenight, Alright!" It'll enhance your homegrown mood leveler to Columbian levels, even if it's only skunk-weed. It's taken me years of trial and error, and more trials, to come up with the 'constant party' blend. So, "send me your dough, and I'll send my secret for unlocking the 'wow!' factor in your homegrown, don't you know!"