'Neckoso'

Fake advertisement

                                                                  

"Neckoso"

 

I know that I've used some of the possible side effects before, but apparently I need 'Memo-Ease', because I'll be damned if I can remember where!

 

     "Howdy, yee-haw, it's your old buddy Clem Gummer--you may know me as "The Voice of The Know-S**t Network"--here to tell you about an amazing breakthrough cure for that b*****d sum b***h, a stiff neck. I know a stiff neck can be a royal pain, but now with 'Neckoso' you'll be free to dance that jig, yee-haw. My neck pain was so severe, just nodding 'hello' to somebody sent rockets of pain shooting up my neck into my brain, and I'd collapse screaming in unbearable agony. I was out of action for days, even weeks, or at least that's what I told my employer--eh, ha, ha--no, but I was immobile for a long time, until a friend told me about 'Neckoso'. I read the back of the box, and thought, 'bullshit!' but I was in such pain that instead of another malt liquor, I popped 3 'Neckoso's', and almost right away I could feel a difference, or rather, I couldn't feel anything. That's because of the active ingredient in 'Neckoso', Novocain.

"Neckoso' numbs everything from the shoulders up, so you won't feel the dagger-like stabbing of sudden pain, yee-haw, pardner!

 

I should warn your asses not to take 'Neckoso' if you've been anywhere, and side effects are generally mild, and may include your head suddenly flopping to one side, inability to think a coherent thought, and liquefaction of cartilage. So, take it from me, Clem Gummer, take 'Neckoso', and tell your sore neck to kiss your a*s, yee-haw, sum b*****s!"   

   

*warning--you should not take more than one 'Neckoso' or some bad s**t will occur.