Goat's Head Elementary!A Story by Michael Stevens Trump, the early years!  "Hello class, welcome to the first day of 1st grade. I'm your teacher, Mrs. Glasson. I thought we would do something so you can introduce yourself to the class. When I call your name, please stand and tell the class a little something about yourself, so we can all get to know you a little better. Davy Smith, would you like to go first? Please stand and tell us all about yourself.
"My name is Davy Smith, and I like pizza, and playing army!"
"That was excellent, Davy--next, how about Donny Trump? Please---"
"I know the drill, I'm not a complete idiot, like this slope-head sitting next to me. Oh, did that make you cry? Wa, wa--well, get over it! Guys with any kind of balls don't cry, we get even. Believe me, I've got balls to spare. Even though I've yet to reach puberty, they're huge! When I heard guys need to reach puberty, I said "The hell with that, I ain't waiting on Mother Nature, cause there's two kinds of kids in this world--those who sit back and wait, and me. I'm telling you, you look up 'balls' in the dictionary, there's a picture of me. You can take it to the bank! So anyway, I'm going to tell you about myself. When I grow up I'm going to be rich, so rich, just like my dad. And, I'm already smart, but believe me, you'll never see anyone smarter. Take my word for it--and, someday, I'm going to be president!--"
"Well, you certainly act like an egotistical jerk! Kids, this guy standing before you is a prime example of what happens when you're an egotistical jerk who thinks he's God, and is too important to doesn't pay attention in class."
****** "Mrs. Glasson, we've had complaints from every parent of your students. I can see one complaint might be some sort of miscommunication, but all of them? To be fair, before taking action, I thought it only fair to hear your side of the story. Exactly what happened?"
"Well you have to see this kid, Mr. Allsworth--he's, without a doubt, the most dickish kid I've ever had the misfortune to have in my class. He's crude, brash, and seems think he's something extra-special. Get this, he claims he'll be president one day! Imagine, a dick kid who grows into an adult dick and spouts his ignorant bullshit would be laughed off the T.V. screen!"
"Now, Mrs. Glasson, I think he sounds like just what we need, and you're fired!"
"Oh, my God, he's already got you in his spell or trance, or whatever it is that makes seemingly-rational people fall for his bullshit!"
"That's enough, Mrs. Glasson, I expect you to clean out your desk and be off school property by 15.00 hours, is that clear? and don't let the door hit you on the a*s on your way out!"
******
"Donny, do you know why I called you in here?"
"Well, not really, Mr. Allsworth, but let's make it snappy, lunch is about to start, and this goober, I mean a realpiece of work, is begging me to take his marbles, so I'm more than happy to oblige him."
"I'll try to make this as short as possible--"
"There's nothing short about me--I'm huge, HUGE, all over!"
"O-kay--I just wanted to meet you, and say what a privilege it is to have such a smart, talented boy in our school. Mrs. Glasson--"
"Mrs. Glasson? I don't know what her problem was--I wonder if it was just that time of the month?"
"Ah, ha, I forgot to add exceptionally funny! You, Donny my good man, are going places, and I want to be the first to hook my wagon to you, so I can go along for the ride! The End © 2016 Michael StevensReviews
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1 Review  Last Updated on March 6, 2016 Author
Michael StevensAboutI write for fun; I write comedy pieces and some dramatic stuff. I have no formal writing education, and I have a fear of being told I suck, and maybe I should give up on writing, and get a job makin.. more.. |
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