On the Cusp of Power!

Or, 'On the Cusp of a Massive Boner!'

"Zeig heil!" mein Fuhrer, and might I say, you're looking mighty spiffy in that uniform!"

 

     "Rise, Rudy, there's no need for--oh, but damn, it 's a rush--I'm enjoying this groveling s**t! I'm just glad that I've got you fooled--now, if I can just fool everybody else, I'm in power, baby! Soon, the entire nation shall be under my spell--err--command. As much as I enjoy the sight of a man on his knees before me, I reluctantly say you may as finish getting up now."

 

     "Your wish is my command, Sir.'

 

     "Damn straight--now I'm the new Rasputin, bending people to my will, people who should laugh me out of the room, but who kiss my a*s instead."

 

     "It really is inexplica--err--that's because they sense the power within you, Sir."

 

     "It really is easy--people are like sheep with legs--it's easy to cow and manipulate them into doing something totally against there self-interest, and that happens to be cast their vote for me."

 

     "Ah, Sir? Sheep already have legs."

 

     "If I say they don't have legs, they don't have legs!"

 

     "Yes, Sir."

 

     "You know, I'm amazed that it doesn't matter what I do, or what I say, more and more people support me. You know, Rudy, if I come up short in the election, simply because I couldn't hypnotize enough people, maybe I'll secede and start my own country."

 

     Dream on, Sir--delusions of grandeur!--now he thinks he's a state. "Sir, I think that's a hell of an idea."

 

       "Of course it is--another in a long line of super-intelligent things I've said and done, like blaming minorities for the nation's problems."

 

     "Well played, Sir."

 

    "Like casting dispersion's on my political opponents--ludicrous allegations that anyone with half a brain can see through as ridiculous, but seem to swallow like a hungry sturgeon. Rudy, I rest my case about people being sheep with legs."

 

     "Once again, Sir, sheep have legs."

 

    "How dare you question me! You're a weak loser that I made. I erected you to lofty heights, and I can un-erect you, like a grape!"

 

     What? "Yes, Sir, mein Fuhrer, brainless--err--fearless leader!"

 

     "You know, Rudy, being a celebrity is amazing. You can be the most idiotic, cringe-worthy dick, and they'll only see you as, "THE Most Intelligent Man in the World,"

    

     Great, quoting a beer add!

 

     "it's a good thing I'm not an idiotic, cringe-worthy dick, then, huh? Eh, ha, ha!"

 

     "Yes, Sir, eh, ha, ha!"

 

     "Silence!"

 

     "Oh, I'm sorry, Sir."

 

     "No, I never get tired of seeing people do what I want!"

 

     "Yes, Sir, I see, sir." WHAT a dick!

 

     "Well, I'm going to lay down for awhile, you know, holding up this massive head is exhausting, and I need my beauty sleep."

 

     I don't think even being in a coma would help!  "Yes sir, Mr. Trump--I'll wake you up in time for the big 'Let's All Hate' rally."

 

     "Now, bring me that copy of 'Mein Kampf', I enjoy some light reading before I drift off."

 

The End