Wanted- Petroleum Industry Work, Preferably!

Trump's work wanted ad

     "Wanted: any kind of work for an ex-wealthy snake oil salesman. I would like to find work in that field, as that's where I feel my talents are best utilized, but I'll be the best ever at any job I do, because, trust me, I have a big brain, among other organs. I have recently been unemployed, because I was dabbling in politics, which I thought was a natural fit for my snake oil background, but, alas, the idiotic loser citizens of America didn't agree. I'm here to tell you, someone ought to check their citizenship papers, because I can't believe they didn't tap into the fear and mistrust I was selling. 

     Foreign countries, who want to see America fail, are sending millions of their citizens here to vote against me, because, with our unsecured borders, we get the rapists and murderers. And, you might think I'm bitter because I lost, and you'd be right. The system is rigged to weed out the unqualified, and the dangerously unhinged egomaniacs. So, offer me a job, and get my gigantic thinking organ working for you, or don't, and watch your once-thriving business go straight down the shitter---you can contact me, Donald J. Trump, at The Luxury Home for The Oversize-Headed, Room 5." 

Reviews

[p]

"Mr. Trump, do you believe yourself to be a good writer?"

"As, a matter of fact I do, I'm the best writer on this stage, I've been writing for years, I've got people in Washington writing right now! I tell you we need to build a wall to keep out the non-writers, because they're fanficcers and emo poetry writers, just terrible people, and when I get elected I'm going to make writing great again!"

"Hmmm... okay, and are you good at balancing the budget?"

"As a matter of fact I am, I'm the best budget balancer on this stage."

(Your ad was really good)

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you much, and your comment was really funny!