Tweet From Tweedle-Dumb--Err--Don!

Get USED to it!

"From Donald J. Trump--314 am--many, many, so many people 

have congratulated me on my tweeting--they claim they never 

get tired of them, that they could read them for hours. People, 

many, many people, believe me, have told me I am the most 

interesting man in the world, possibly the universe. The loser 

selling beer, who spouts, 'stay thirsty my friends!' is a fraud. 

I'M the most interesting. It's not even close, 'sorry, Beer Guy, 

you're a complete tool!'

And, I can stay up for days without sleep, sleep's for losers. 

Only weak people need sleep. Not only am I most interesting, 

but the most sleep deprived man in the world. I mean, look at 

me, I barely sleep, and it affects my decision making not at all. 

Well, Vladimir Putin's a close second on the importance scale, 

we're both interesting, strong, incredibly-handsome leaders, 

but only I have millions of followers on Twitter. That's a true 

test of how popular you are. The media claims millions of 

Americans are scared s**t-less of my erratic behavior, but they 

LIE, boy, how they lie--trust me, Pinocchio's, all of them! Well, 

I'd love to talk about myself for hours, but I stopped off at the 

mini market, and by the way, what's with the foreign guy 

working behind the counter, anyway (remind me to tweet 

something that will make people afraid next time, then I can 

swoop in like a vulture and strip the bones of that place clean, 

then resell it, at a tremendous profit--God, I love America!) and 

picked me up some tasty corn beef hash--with some farm fresh 

eggs, a few slices of toast? You know, I should have my own 

cooking show *note to self, look into that!"