'America, Why?'

song parody

Don McLean--American Pie': 

A long long time ago

I can still remember how

That music used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those people dance

And maybe they'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver

With every paper I'd deliver

Bad news on the doorstep

I couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried

When I read about his widowed bride

Something touched me deep inside

The day the music died

So

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

Did you write the book of love

And do you have faith in God above

If the Bible tells you so?

Do you believe in rock and roll?

Can music save your mortal soul?

And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him

'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym

You both kicked off your shoes

Man, I dig those rhythm and blues

I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck

With a pink carnation and a pickup truck

But I knew I was out of luck

The day the music died

I started singin'

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

Now, for ten years we've been on our own

And moss grows fat on a rolling stone

But, that's not how it used to be

When the jester sang for the king and queen

In a coat he borrowed from James Dean

And a voice that came from you and me

Oh and while the king was looking down

The jester stole his thorny crown

The courtroom was adjourned

No verdict was returned

And while Lennon read a book on Marx

The quartet practiced in the park

And we sang dirges in the dark

The day the music died

We were singin'

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

And singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

Helter skelter in a summer swelter

The birds flew off with a fallout shelter

Eight miles high and falling fast

It landed foul on the grass

The players tried for a forward pass

With the jester on the sidelines in a cast

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume

While sergeants played a marching tune

We all got up to dance

Oh, but we never got the chance

'Cause the players tried to take the field

The marching band refused to yield

Do you recall what was revealed

The day the music died?

We started singin'

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

And singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

Oh, and there we were all in one place

A generation lost in space

With no time left to start again

So come on Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

Jack Flash sat on a candlestick

'Cause fire is the devil's only friend

Oh and as I watched him on the stage

My hands were clenched in fists of rage

No angel born in Hell

Could break that Satan's spell

And as the flames climbed high into the night

To light the sacrificial rite

I saw Satan laughing with delight

The day the music died

He was singin'

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

I met a girl who sang the blues

And I asked her for some happy news

But she just smiled and turned away

I went down to the sacred store

Where I'd heard the music years before

But the man there said the music wouldn't play

And in the streets the children screamed

The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed

But not a word was spoken

The church bells all were broken

And the three men I admire most

The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost

They caught the last train for the coast

The day the music died

And they were singing

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

They were singing

Bye, bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

******

NOT Don McLean--'America, Why?'

Not that long ago,

I still remember how we'd go,

argued, yes, but we were never mean,

but now those days are but a memory

we're at each other verbally,

in the new political scene

The climate out has made me shiver

with every newscast they deliver

Bad news apparently sells

in this world gone to Hell

I sure remember that I cried,

listening to his latest lies

Something sagging deep inside,

tried to stay upbeat, I tried, I really tried,

so

Why, why, America why?

Watching disaster unfolding and it's world-wide

And them good old boys are drinking whiskey and rye,

Singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

Did he write The Book of Dumb?

and oh my God, what's yet to come?

You don't even know where to go,

it's no wonder that you don't know

Because you've sold your immortal soul

for wealth and power, oh, oh, oh

Well, I know you're in love with yourself,

and your empathy's sitting upon the shelf

You all band together,

All your grips have come untethered

Got me asking 'what the f**k?'

with a sarcastic smile, we'll need luck,

and I know the future's going to suck

Humanity second to the mighty buck,

hear me singing,

Why, why, America why?

Watching disaster unfolding that is world wide

And them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye,

singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

Now for over three months we've been on our own

watching the news with one big groan

But, that's not how it used to be

Now the jester, he's president,

and common sense packed up and went,

and a scream escapes from you and me

oh, the wanna-be king looks down on all,

and society's in a dire free-fall

The news media's happy now,

they helped create this ratings cash cow

And the Book of Reason remains unread

we're treated to the bull that he has said

We eat your s**t sandwiches with a sense of dread,

and we're sleeping in your bullshit bed

Now I'm singing

Why, why, America why?

Watching disaster unfolding that is world wide

And them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye

singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

Helter skelter, like the song describes

we're living with a mad-man and his Kool-Aid tribes

Over three months in and falling fast

His moronics knocked us on our a*s,

he's throwing nothing but a backward pass

applauded by jesters in his cast

Now the half-time break will never come.

Each of his decisions is tragically dumb,

and we dance The Idiot's Dance,

while his followers remain in trance

'Cause they didn't want to see the truth

that The Dumper is hardcore uncouth

Do you recall what was revealed?

We learned he's a slippery eel

I started singing

Why, why, America why?

watching disaster unfolding that is world wide

And them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye,

singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

Now we're all in last place

A generation lost in space

with no clue what we've lost

So Dump be nimble, Dump be quick

as a leader, he's quite a dick,

and Kool-Aid is his favorite drink

Oh, as I watched the election returns,

I saw the Dumper's who'd never learned

And now we're going to Hell,

'cause too many fell under his spell

And as the flames were burning bright,

and he lit the torch of his sacrificial rite

I saw The Dumper laughing with delight

There's not enough of us to mount a fight,

now I'm singing,

Why, why, America why?

Watching disaster unfolding that is world wide

And them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye

singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

I see in our future we'll sing the blues,

more disaster on the cable news

My words of warning just brushed away

Until my lungs were raw I screamed

'Hey, hey, we are all getting reamed'

but his faithful turned away

And in the suburbs and rural streets,

my shouts of warning I did repeat

But they all fell on deaf ears,

they'd given in to their fears

and the two men Dump admires most

he and himself, who loves to boast

feebly try to say that we're not toast

Is he the anti-Christ? We're gonna roast,

once again I'm singing

Why, why, America why?

watching disaster unfolding that is world wide

And them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye,

singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

Why, why, America why?

watching disaster unfolding that is world wide

And them good ole boys are drinking whiskey and rye,

singing "This is why my vote for the guy,

yes, this is why my vote for the guy"

Reviews

[Hyacinth]

This is- wow.

I used to listen to this song ALL THE FRICKEN TIME and this made me nostalgic

But your take on it is probably the best part.

There is such truth behind your words, masked in humour, and that speaks about good writing. D'you think I'll be allowed to sing your version in a school talent show...in Britain...with ten year olds in the room?

Eh, it's so awesome I don't wanna share it. Well done!

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you much--it was kind of tough making sure I parodied every line--it's a damn long song!