Lie and Leave.

Another novella from the story of a couple full of unbelievable struggles and love.

Lie and Leave.

My heart bled. My breathe coming out in gasps. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. A minute ago the sun was shimmering down on us, now everything was crumbling down before my eyes. My insides were crushing and my knees were going to give out any moment as I drew up the strength to say what I needed to say. I looked up into his beautiful grey eyes as I fought back my jungle of emotions inside. He looked down at me with such sadness and fear, yet so much love. I broke away from his gaze yet again, this time with uncontrollable sobs as the tears overflowed. I clutched my stomach as I tried to control the weeping.

            “Please don’t,” he whispered raspily as he reached out towards me and bent down to look me in the eye. “Don’t say it.” Another sob erupted as I watched the man I loved plead in front of me. I had never seen him so weak.

            I shook my head. “I can’t,” I mumbled. “I can’t do this.”

            “I’m sorry,” he almost yelled, as he cupped my cheek. “Don’t do this. I’m sorry,” he repeated, now unable to control the volume of his voice. He closed his eyes and bent his head down until his forehead rested on mine. My sobs had somewhat calmed down by now, but the tears kept rolling. How had we gotten so deep into this mess?

            “Caleb…” I managed to choke out. “Don’t.” He inched back look at me again, this time with tear-filled eyes.

            “Don’t leave me,” he whispered. “I love you so much.” My sobs became uncontrollable this time as his words crushed my heart. He was everything to me. I never thought I would ever be in a situation where I had to lie to him, but now I was. It killed me, but I had no other choice.

            I took a deep breath before I looked up at him. “I know,” I whispered. “But I don’t want to be with you.” I looked away from his defeated eyes as I leaned up to give him one last kiss on the cheek. I felt my heart rip inside of me as I felt the weight of my lie plummetted down on me. “Goodbye, Caleb. I love you.”

            As I turned away from the man I loved, I realized I had lost everything. My body shook severely and my vision blurred as I forced my legs to take me further away. I gathered up all my mental and physical strength to keep myself from turning around and running back to him, but I knew I was being watched. Little did he know, his life was on the line, therefore there was no other choice.  They had given me two options: I leave, or he dies. Though he was everything to me, I knew that I could not live in a world where he did not exist.