My World

The wind’s direction,
constantly changing.
The leaves flow behind.
But who is the real leader.
Is it nature’s own mind?
Is it something strange that my eyes can not find?
I have longed for the day
 when I would see the Autumn Sun,
breathe in this beauty,
a new life has just begun.
In this magical place of peace I
 feel like I’m lifting,
off the ground,
off my feet.
Moving swiftly throught he breeze,
feel the trees.
Hear the wind.
The sweet sweet wind.
Magic twinds around each thread,
 of the air’s sweet breathe and  nothing dead.
The leaves are red and yellow,
trees are green and blue.
In my magic world,
 there is nothing else to do,
 except dwindle ‘round the open forest,
breathe in all the sweet air,
Someday I hope that you will get to make it there..

Author's Note

Watcha think!!!?

Reviews

[Demetria.Ro$e.Hathaway]

Wow grate poem :)

[Rachel U.]

Like other young authors, you seem to be a little "off" in your vocabulary. For example, "twind" is not a word (although intertwined is). I can see how you might want to use poetic license here, but it very much threw me off. "Dwindle" doesn't really fit well in context, either.
Besides that, there weren't too many mistakes. A few typographical errors, I suppose. "Breathe" should be "breath" (in "of the air’s sweet breathe"), etc. A few commas were ill-placed. However, it did not affect the poem too badly. Quite entertaining, overall. Interesting subject matter; it felt original. Keep it up. :)

[J. C. Koch]

I like, nature's powerful force is well conveyed, i like how the poem feels like a journey

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. Nothing as wonderful as a warm day and roaming in nature. I like the flow and your story. Nature is a gift we need to use. A very good poem.
Coyote