Emo Mud

This is a poem that I wrote shortly after leaving an industrial club and the beat of the music was still playing in my head. The mix of intense emotions and numbness that the music brought out of me was what created this poem.

Twisted little punk scrape
Wicked little buzz
Vivid tiny heart wrench
Fizzing bit of love
Shocking when a heart cracks
Spurting out the blood
Clocking how the beat tracks
Emotions into mud.

Hardened are the black boots
While smashed up are the toes
Burning is the dark booze
So smaller go the clothes
Crippled mini lung hole
Fighting little breaths
Sometimes I see my sold soul
Alive in someone else.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think ... I have a hard time getting unbiased feedback for my poems.

Reviews

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

I personally really like this piece. I love the beat of it and the flow of it. My only critism is that the last line doesn't flow well with the rest of it. (nevermind, reread it and it works lol). This was a good poem. Your description/imagery in here was pretty good. Great Job.

Eternally Yours
Imperfectly Me

[Pale Rose]

This poem really does reflect an industrial beat. It *would* make a really good song... Besides that, I find it to be a somehow very deep poem! I love this piece!

[Shane Brooks]

I thought it was f****n awesome great flow I heard it in my head with kind of an industrial ministry beat behind it sounds like lyrics to me. I really dig this piece if you could add to it and make it longer it would be a song one of the best pieces I have read on here short simple..cool