Caught at Sunrise

I woke up on the beach after a night of carousing and wrote this after escaping the sun's relentless morning assault on my eyes and burned face. Could be considered a rough sketch that I never went any further with.

Day breaks on rough clouds painted red on the horizon
and the surf churns the shore as it rapidly rises
and the old moon falls to the sea;
I think to myself how much I adore
this crescent as she sinks to the deep-

In her place rises a restless god;
thrashing the peace of the night-

and as night turns quickly to day,

I take leave of the beach to stumble away.

 

Author's Note

You can criticize it all day. Maybe I'll even rewrite it and elaborate a little.....later.

Reviews

[Syke]

It's quite good how it is already, but any expansions wouldn't be necessarily negative either. No typos that I noticed, so that's good. :)

[Seriana]

That was very beautiful. Short, simple, and very colorful. I liked it alot. I like how you make reference to nature and the sea alot. It paints a more beautiful picture.

[EliJoLee]

i wont criticize it. it was beautifully written and i loved the description for it gave me a vivid picture in my head. swell. keep writing!

[Poeticpiers]

I wont criticise it I loved the idea you present in well written prose I think you must sooner or later return to this and complete it