Grief (poem)

He gave up on life

Like he gave up on his wife

He couldn't grief

But he still used his handkerchief

He would lay on the ground crying

Feeling that he was dying. 

Drowned in the pool he froze

Moaning as he scared away the crows

Years later, he begged to get back his wife

As she was the love of his life

By: MrWriter (Shaan)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A good ending I believe. Grief can be hard. Make us want things lost. Thank you Shaan for sharing your words and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Farhan Shaikh]

Very good use of words, nicely penned

[BBP]

I love the fact you said he gave up on her, sometimes we feel thats what we are doing when we just dont know how to handle the reality and pain.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you!! :)

[Gina]

Crying, pain. We want grief to be a straight line. We want to be the same. It's hilarious how that's the complete opposite of how it actually works. There are so many ups and downs. It feels like someone if stabbing you and in a way people around you are trying to wake you up. Reality is painful sometimes but it is the price we have to pay. Your poem was sophisticated, strong, powerful but beyond that, it was emotions coming together in a way that you bonded so nicely with words. It really makes people think. It was like every line grew more feeling. At the end I was blown away.

I cannot tell you how AMAZING this could begin to be. You must be very proud. Your work is quite special. Keep it up!

Always, Gina.

We are infinite.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you do much Gina!! It's really appreciated!! :) I totally agree with you that reality is really painful than all the fiction and fantasy we think about

[Gina]

Yes fantasy is fun, but we need to go back to the real world sometimes. I don't mind though because a look into the real world, gives me the encouragement to write. I'm thankful for that.

[Zoya]

Short but strong enough to bind the reader till the very end! There's one mistake though - In the third line, the word grief should be replaced by grieve. Overall, it's a powerful poem and I enjoyed reading it!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Zoe for the review! :)
I didn't take my time on this poem, it just came up in my head :D

[Zoya]

Oh, you're welcome!

[Mr.Writer]

I just posted a new poem, check it out :D

[matrixmark]

A poem filled with sadness, anger, desperation. You do feel for the man whilst he was laying on the ground. That part comes through as a man who feels all of the above 3 motions, its like you can almost see him clenchng his fists tightly and screaming out whilst being curled up in a ball of desperation. This is what I saw whilst looking deeper into the words.
For the few words which existed in this piece, it was heartwrencher of a read.

It really was a case of looking inbetween the lines and seeing that little bit further.
Mark.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Mark for the detailed review.
I didn't take my time on this poem to be honest :D
It just came in my mind. :D
Shaan