Black hole (Poem)

Poem

The emergency sign sinks into my eyes;

as I step into the hospital

The smell of disinfectant embraces my nose;

tossing my appetite into the trash as if it's a chew toy

The moans and cries of the patients envelope my ears;

as if the percussion is playing

Grave faces of those, making me go crazy

As if I'm held at gunpoint;

begging to be released

Turning my imagination into something different;

something somber and dull like the clouds

Swaying me far away from sunlight

My bloodshot eyes desperately look at the exit;

turning away from the blood; 

the blood being extracted from me

Morphine sliding deep into my veins;

sucking on all the pain inside 

As more pain develops from the urge to leave

Slowly being rolled into the operating theater, I cry

My adrenaline rushing, along with my blood pressure

I wince at the injection of anesthesia

Landing me somewhere I dread;

a black hole, shaped like the moon

In which I can't escape from

By: MrWriter (Shaan)

Reviews

[jellycat94]

This is writing that truly grabs you by the throat as you read and makes you unable to stop, not that anyone would want to stop. I felt like I was the patient feeling the dread of being in the hospital, you managed to suck me into your poem :) great work!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Jellycat! :)

[Najam Us Saher]

You have descriptively written about the atmosphere. I liked that the most.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Najam! :)

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Raj Sahu]

It's very dark. My body was full of spines on reading this work. It is written well.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Raj! :)

[Bear]

Nice depiction of pre surgery jitters the anxiety and doubts the sights and smalls all come in to play. Masterfully done, it almost feels as if I am there with you Standing Ovation! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Bear! Really appreciated

[Wajiha Nayeem]

ah...plz stop that....don't talk about your death..and we 'd never ever want to lose you!......this piece was....i don't know but this made me feel anxious..

[Mr.Writer]

Lol sorry about that Wajiha

[Wajiha Nayeem]

you don't have to be sorry dear...just don't talk about your death...difficult to listen and to read!

[Mr.Writer]

I know, I'll try not to

[Wajiha Nayeem]

that's like my mr. writer!

[Stacy Purvis]

GAH! Don't be talking about your death! Very dark piece...made me feel anxious. : (

[Mr.Writer]

Lol, sorry about that Anastasia

[Stacy Purvis]

Yea...you're not going anywhere!!! : (

[Surya]

It's much about Black hole, described skillfully...I liked it Shaan...:)

[Mr.Writer]

thank you so much Surya! :)

[Hope]

There is no comeback from a black hole.
Its clever of you liken it with the pain and anxiety of a suffering person.
The way you described the situation is great so that we can see the scene happening while reading.
Its a great work, Shaan...:)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Naat! Really appreciated :)
I tried to convey the feeling as best as possible and am glad you could see it! :)

[Hope]

My pleasure...