The moment (Poem)

My hands violently tremble

as I hold a bottle of pills

Ready to be swallowed

All in one gulp

My adrenaline rushes

rushes so fast

that I can't feel anything

no more

The cap opens

as the pills come out

And I pop one into my mouth

Then, the rest of them

I fall back

onto the floor

unable to breathe

tears crashing down

Inhaling and exhaling I try

try not to think about it

my eyes tightly closed

waiting for the moment to happen

Reviews

[mae23]

This is incredibly powerful. I really liked this piece!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Mae! :)

[Sam]

Really good! I liked the way you wrote and described your poem it caught my attention and kept it! Definitely enjoyed it

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much

[heartspeaks]

i always wanted to write something that people read and avoid suicide . I think i should have written it earlier so the poor fellow in your poem would have been alive ... :p haha innovative imagination. awessom write . grasps the attention from the very first line till the end. Sad which shows your poem connected your readers... well done

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Heart! :)

[Kittenincake]

A gritty way to portray suicide. Saddening but I suppose it was meant to be. Well done.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much! :)

[L.C. Jarrette]

i like your poem.
the struggle is intense..
we shouldn't give up on our lives so easily.

[Mr.Writer]

I agree, we should persevere even more and not give up.
Thank you so much!

[L.C. Jarrette]

you're welcome..mr. writer

[Farhan Shaikh]

This is wonderful poem , very good meaning i loved it

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Farhan!

[Abhishek Asthana]

its a two way poem... one has shown the grief-stricken person who has just given up... and the another one is that we should not quit like this way...good work shaan !!

[Mr.Writer]

That is right Abhishek
Thank you! :)

[Bear]

This is a great writing challenge it teaches how to control the emotions of the topic which could have easily gotten to strong and made it about the emotions. Good job Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Bear! :)
Really appreciated

[Wajiha Nayeem]

this is wonderful....i remember one incident of my cousin doing this few years ago...and, this is like wonderful..amazing write!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Wajiha! :)
Really sorry to hear about your cousins suicide attempt, hope he/she is much better now :)

[CAPOLAVORO]

This one is so nice. It could really be a story. A part of it. I you try t expound it more then it could be a great one I believe. :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thanks so much Capolavoro! :)