Prey

It isn't a story, nor a poem, it's just something random I came up with lol

I can hear the birds chirping 

         I can see them flying 

           with their delicate wings

             looking fiercely

           ready to hunt down 

                                     their prey

                                               but fail to do so

                                                  as they run away

                                            go out of reach

                                             and those birds

                                                  lash out

                                           their mouths watering

                                          in hunger 

                                          and in pain

                           as they end up 

                       falling down

                       in a pit

                        filled with

                       what they needed the most

                         worms

                         their prey

                

Reviews

[Bear]

It is always exciting to see a writer experimenting with different forms and styles to present their thoughts and feelings.This is a good writing exercise and shows the passion and strength of your desire to keep improving your craft. Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[AcasualPawn]

Well this contains many meanings, but one i most wanted to say is, people are ambitious but in the end they live a normal life..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I agree with what the others say here... it does seem odd down the end. I like the structure too. Nice attempt, Shaan (:

[emipoemi]

random indeed......it started out well, then kind of veers into the absurd.....I like the layout of it, and the story....just the ending got weird (but in a good way, if that's what you were going for). Well done!

[Sam]

I liked your poem, it was written very well. The rhythm and flow were nicely done! However the meaning kinda went over my head. Other then that is was a good poem!