If i could run

Running away is what goes on in lots of kids heads. Even in mine but if you sit and think about it you wind up to scared to go. Because you know better.

If I could run I’d run far.

I’d forget what you want and who you are.

I’d leave this place and never look back.

I’d look at what I have not what I lack.

 

If I could run I’d leave this town.

I’d leave with out a word without a sound.

I’d forget my goodbyes.

I’d push away all those lies.

 

If I could run I’d never return.

I’d forget what I know and just learn.

I’d remember what’s important and nothing that’s not.

I’d be thankful for anything and everything I’ve got.

 

If I could run I wouldn’t.

I’d stay behind because I couldn’t.

I’d realize I wasn’t done.

I’d stay because I’m afraid to run.

 

 

Reviews

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

I like the twist at the end with the last stanza. I am curious to see what else you have in store in terms of writing style. You seem to really like the couplet - end rhyming scheme...Ever tried another form? Push yourself and break the mold and try something new. The flow did hitch a couple of times in this poem just because of the meter set with iambic pentameter that usually follows the end rhyme flow but beyond that, pretty good write.

Keep it up and again break free
Would love to see more variation

LW

[kirstey Lost,Crushed,Co..]

This is very well done, i like it :) how at first your saying im wanting to run then saying that you cant :) make's sense

[Livana Lowell]

I was so used to seeing the repetition in the beginning of each word so that at the bottom, I the word kind threw me off rhythm.

Other than that, I can totally relate because I actually tried to run away twice and backed out because I was so scared. I mean I didn't know how to run the streets or where to sleep when I needed to lie down. Use the sidewalk, the hell if I would where bird crap lain across the cement. Blah! Yeah, so I mean if you run you grow, but you can't grow up scared.

This really brought back those memories and spiked a little sadness in my heart. I like the feeling. This is well done and I complement you for sharing th

[Sabbath_Nikole]

You really like form poetry, you should try a sestina, i hear those a pretty tough to do. Nice message in this one. I dig it!

[GunMetal]

Two thumbs up. There were parts where the flow stumbled a little bit, but otherwise excellent work.

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Aha, in the verge of breaking free, yet still breached? Sad.

Your last stanza is the bringer in this poem.
If I could run I wouldn’t.
I’d stay behind because I couldn’t.
I’d realize I wasn’t done.
I’d stay because I’m afraid to run.

Wonderful write!

[Albatross]

Very thought provoking.. life is made of so many different tiny little moments, small little choices that define who we are and where we're going. Thank you for sharing this. It flowed well and led to it's conclusion perfectly. Loved it:)

[Senseless whatever]

Great write. Thoughtful and makes you think, kind of the 'what ifs'

[Subjective Sanity]

Excellent!!!

[Wolfe Greytome]

This is by far one of your best pieces to date. You could clean it up a bit by touching up the grammar - but even that would be accomplished with just a couple commas. Extremely well done!!!!