Stale Mate Relationships 101

All too often in a relationship or marriage that once blazed with the fire of true love and romance to become embers and ashes. We men tend to allow this tragedy to take place.

Stale Mate Relationships 101

Written By Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

Copyright © 2018 Marvin Thomas Cox

DBA: Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

All Rights Reserved

This article is dedicated to my late wife, Irma Gutierrez Gomez Cox

After 39 ½ years of marriage to a woman I have known since she was 15 years old -- 5 years of separation ending in divorce and re-marriage, and 4 years of attempting to learn to live with one another once again in some semblance of peace and harmony that allowed each of us sensible freedom while working towards spending the rest of our lives together -- a little suddenly light came on in my itty bitty head. Why it took so long I shall never know. The only thing that truly matters is that this light of full realization has come on to shine the light of a tiny glimmer of comprehension upon my know it all mind that has come to fully understand that I don't really know diddly squat s**t about keeping a woman, or else I would never have lost her in the first place. The gist of my, late in life, trying to make it work again with the ex-wife, revelation?

When reflecting upon our relationship with our chosen mate for life, if one pauses just long enough to witness all the far too many examples of failed relationships in the world -- in our own families as examples of failure set by our own parents -- it becomes clear that either we are determinedly and actively engaged in a state of falling ever deeper in love, or we are flirting with that process of falling out of love altogether-- with Divorce just beyond the horizon of our cataract-n-calloused-heart's eyes. For it is more than possible to love someone, and be in love with them, no longer.

 with them, no longer.

To be in love is to embrace all which that person is as your mate -- good attributes as well as bad -- even those attributes which reveal themselves as idiosyncrasies and outright faults that can drive us more than mad if we have foolhardily made that ho-hum-taking-our-mate-for-granted transition from being deeply and helplessly in love to merely loving -- and that, quite often. Totally unawares. It's damn nice to have her back!

(Written December 10^th, 2018)

Tammy Wynette: DIVORCE: 

Tammy Wynette: I Don't Wanna Play House: 

Author's closing note; I lost the love of my life to COVID on January 7^th, 2022.