Tonight

My first decent senryu.

Tonight your face is

Locked in my mind like sun burnt

Into pine green eyes

Author's Note

This also can be re-arranged into a rhyming couplet, amusingly enough:

Tonight your face is locked in my mind
Like sun burnt into pine green eyes

Reviews

[Coffee Vampier]

I always have trouble describing eyes because one can only go into so much detail before its over done. I believe this was very inspiring.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you. :) Actually, you could probably go into a lot of detail if they were complex enough eyes visually, like a really weird shade of hazel or green. Also, some people are really expressive with their eyes and you can see so many different emotions in eyes. But, yeah, I can see how that would be trickier than any other body part to describe. But in a way that kind of makes them a lot more beautiful, because they're really hard to describe.

[Coffee Vampier]

I agree its the most telling part of the body to describe. You did a fine job

[Naomi Bloom]

Thanks again.

[Invisible Ink]

I really like it, just the way it is.

[Naomi Bloom]

Thank you!