help wanted...

a newspaper advertisement i have composed............LOL

i need to find a suitable candidate,

for a position vacant in queensland.

i require a NEAR perfect woman;

i need a girlfriend for my husband!

 

the selection criteria is quite basic;

you must listen and quietly obey.

you'll need to be able to nod your head,

in agreement of what he has to say!!

 

you won't be asked for your opinion,

you'll learn to speak when spoken to.

a licence to drive to the pub is a must,

you'll have his work gear to wash too!!!

 

the mating ritual is predictably quick,

just keep some canestan on hand.

no crying or any deep conversations,

any loud playing music is banned!!!!

 

you would be preparing daily meals,

and keeping his four-ex icy cold.

please foward your resumes A.S.A.P.

now, do as you've bloody been told!!!!!

 

j.f.monkman, 9-5-2008.