Take Her Home

She stood on the vibrating event horizon 

Strange data tessellating 

Soft blue eyes cutting through the city night

Its a strange way home

Over this colorless tapestry

There are moments in time 

When you can only take the next step

Then another

She wanted that familiar feeling 

That neon cafe back in her knowing geography 

This city was no longer hers

A conspiracy theory 

Made to disrupt her mojo 

Something she’d found and lost so many times

As the rain started

A slow fluorescent drumming behind her eyes

She made her way homeward

Reviews

[D Connolly]

This makes me think of an awakening, like the kind that happens when you've learned something that changes the way you look at the world. There's no coming back from a realization like that. Everything looks different

[Annabee90]

Beautiful piece! I love that the imagery and language used are consistent throughout...and the line 'colorless tapestry' is excellent.

Also love the minimalist approach to punctuation. Definitely thoughts which ring true and speak to me as a reader.

[Neal S]

Thank you so much!

[Anjali]

Wow I amazed at how well I could connect with this brilliant piece of writing. Great efforts and really good job!
Happy Holidays :)

[Neal S]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you could connect and enjoyed it! :)

[Lorry]

My first thoughts on this piece Neal, were that I have too known someone who found themselves on the event horizon, only able to take a next step, mojo lost...but then I realised that it may just be as true for me too. Maybe there are truths here for all of us to see. I only hope she fulfils her journey. Powerful words that resonate, my friend.

[Neal S]

Thank you Sir.

[Coyote Poetry]

Life is change. Hard to return to same place.
"That neon cafe back in her knowing geography
This city was no longer hers"
The above lines are true thoughts. I left my home often and place changed or I did. Thank you Neal for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Neal S]

Thank you so much Coyote. Happy holidays :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome and have a safe and fun New Year.

[Barbara Borel]

This is a good piece. I like it. She wants to go home. Will you take her there?

[Neal S]

I don't think she'd need me to lol...She's pretty tough on her own. Thanks so much for stopping in!

[Barbara Borel]

She is a warrior

[Neal S]

Indeed!! Thanks again :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"There are moments in time
When you can only take the next step
Then another"
Interesting... Although this moment never came in mine, having always taken all the major steps at once 😂
I liked reading this! Great flow ☺

[Neal S]

lol..Indeed! At times we just have to say screw it and go in both feet at once. Lovely review and thanks for reading! :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Haha yes exactly! You are welcome! It was a pleasure ☺

[Robert]

In my writings I favour the old straight forward wording, the common way if you like. But I must say that after reading this a few times I am somewhat smitten with how you tell your story. This is a lesson on how to write poetry which makes the reader think.

[Neal S]

Well thank you Robert. And i'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Kaylee]

I loved,
"She wanted that familiar feeling
That neon cafe back in her knowing geography
This city was no longer hers"
I could grasp exactly what the character's mood and tone was in that statement. I'm certainly going to look through your other works! Keep it up!

[Neal S]

Thank you Kaylee and please do. I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

[Costa Siwale]

a sense of ..Alien-ism in this one.. you use intensely powerful words. a well expressed piece my friend. Thank you for sharing.

[Neal S]

Thank you Sir for taking the time to read it.