Heartbeat

    My heart races just like a running horse.

   This fear of love or is it love of fear?

 I'm trying hard to run to escape it

  I don't know where to go to get away.

     The same routine it's always everyday

 This life I live so deep, stuck in a pit.

     I cannot scream I cannot shed a tear

So I will let this poison run its course.

Author's Note

It's in iambic pentameter so if it doesn't seem like it flows that way please let me know.

Reviews

[SuperChick62]

I don't know what an iamic pentameter is, but it flows beautifully as a poem. No complaints there.

I really like this piece. It's even more honest to yourself than the other one (kids). I can relate completely. I was once stuck in a rut wanting love but fearing becoming a suburban soccer mom. My mind got changed for me. But, anyways, my point being, is this is a very common teenage/young adult feeling. Lost in a bit world, stuck with no apparent way out. Very nicely conveyed.

M. Super

[Nia Hope]

Thank you and iambic pentameter is basically the way Shakespeare was read and it basically sounds like a heartbeat, hence the title.

[SuperChick62]

Yeah, it works. You should read some of Bob Dylan's works. He's got a couple lyrics that really sound like heart beats. He rhymes within his lines to make the beat faster. It's pretty cool.

[Nia Hope]

I know of a lot of sets of lyrics that flow like that without the melody

[SuperChick62]

You can have a lot of fun with lyrics. The sung word doesn't have to be as precise or close rhyming as the purely written.

[17thWhitePrince]

Loved the ending to this piece !!!
Really well done :D

Definately a poison for sure !!!

[Nia Hope]

Thank you :)

[Aethereal]

Perhaps your poem would flow better if you wrote in a simpler form such as this tiny poem which your beautiful poem inspired me to write. You may have this poem as a gift to keep as your own since I used your creative ideas within it. It's written in /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter whereby / is an accent and 0 is a non-accent. Rhyme is overlapped: It sings like a song:

Horse Race

My heart's racing like a horse
fearing love or loving fear.
Once I let it run its course,
then perhaps I'll shed a tear.

[Nia Hope]

Okay thank you :)

[Annabelle Lee]

I don't have much experience with iambic pentameter other than shakespeare but I liked what was being said!

[Nia Hope]

Thank you very much! And I had actually written this after reading Shakespeare because that's the only experience I've had with it too lol

[Saumya]

i reallllly enjoyed reading this....!!!!
very eloquent....!!!!
great work...
well done...!!
:)

[Nia Hope]

Thank you so much :)

[Saumya]

you r highly welcmd...!!

[Sami Khalil]

Thank you for sharing...:)

[Nia Hope]

You are quite welcome. Any time you want to read something new just let me know I have plenty to share :)

[Sami Khalil]

OK. I will...Take care...:)