Dead inside

.. dead  inside of suicide

destiny's from outside

longing eyes like cold silver

flame stars in a timeless river...

https://www.artmajeur.com/nick-fatum/en/artworks/18546193/the-trap

Reviews

[Sam Daniel]

Hi! In addition to the wonderful minimalistically figurative text about the realization of the hopeless fatality of the time of being flowing like a river, I really liked the associative coincidence with the image below, sad and fatalistic - respect to the author!

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you for your comment and appreciation!

[Sam Daniel]

You're welcome, I just like it.

[Nick Fatum]

Good luck in everything. 🤝

[Sam Daniel]

You too, I really like it.

[annealexis.poetry]

Amazingly succinct and haunting, should be set to music...

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you 🤝
https://vimeo.com/1110184393
https://nickfatum.wpcomstaging.com/20200-2/

[redzone]

Even when we experience pain and suffering inside, the world moves ever onward. I have a friend who lives like this and it is hard to witness, even as I try in my own way to comfort. Makes me realize how each of us must find our own way in this "timeless river".

Interesting image. To me it looks like a naked man caught in the currents of the river.

Thanks for sharing, Nick.
-Curt

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you for your comment 🤝

https://www.artmajeur.com/nick-fatum/en/artworks/18546193/the-trap

[samparks,sam]

nice thought , your words power and emotion in this poem heart touch

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you for the comment 🤝

[samparks,sam]

nice to hear you

[Nick Fatum]

Have a nice day 🤝

[Chris Shaw]

Four lines powerfully conveyed and felt. I like brevity. We have lost someone this week to suicide. A young mum, who leaves two young boys.

longing eyes like cold silver

that line touched a raw nerve.

Well done.

Chris

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you for your appreciation.. My sincere condolences.. this text isn't a call to suicide at all.. poetry is layered.. and symbolic.. It's about something else..

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, poetry is subjective. It will mean different things to each reader. Your poem touched this reader in a way perhaps you didn’t think it could. Tells me how powerful words can be.

[Nick Fatum]

I didn't expect this.. anyway, I don't want to hurt anyone.. most people have a difficult life without that..

[Chris Shaw]

Your words did not hurt me, I found what you wrote relatable at this time and I appreciated the poetry.

Chris

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you 🤝

[shunik]

Delicate choice of words to form powerful emotion and imagery.
Keep sharing your art with the world.

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you.. for your appreciation🤝

[shunik]

It's my pleasure :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Great poem BUT I hope you aren’t in suicidal thoughts though I’ve lost a sister and. Also a v cLose friend to it

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you for the comment.. that's not what this text is about.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ok 👍 sorry

[Nick Fatum]

.....🤝....

[Ayesha Faiz]

This really hits deep. There’s something so quietly intense about the way you’ve described inner pain and longing it’s like the emotions are whispering through each line. “Longing eyes like cold silver” especially gave me chills. You’ve captured something dark but strangely beautiful. This poem is hauntingly beautiful.

[Nick Fatum]

Really.. thank you for such an assessment and comment.
https://www.wattpad.com/1446631012-shard-of-heaven-shards-of-light/page/5

[Nick Fatum]

https://www.wattpad.com/1446629610-shard-of-heaven

[Nick Fatum]

https://www.wattpad.com/1446630624-shard-of-heaven-let-it-be-so

[whoopsydaisy]

I love this. Love the imagery, so simple but so effective. Excellent as always

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you!🤝

[Weeping willow]

In simple words you say so much, nicely expressed ;-]

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you for the comment and the appreciation 🤝

[Nick Fatum]

Have a nice day.

[Jessica F.]

A very interesting synthesis of a beautiful fatalistic text with the image of the painting "Trap (between worlds)" the author as a digital artist is below.. There is something to think about..

[Nick Fatum]

Thank you.. for noticing this, Jessica!

[Jessica F.]

Thank you.. Great success in everything.

[Nick Fatum]

Have a nice day, Jessica!