Empty Space

I mostly just started writing, no plan or thoughts, at first it was going to be poem about talents and having opportunity, but then it turned to the internet and reflects climbing social media ladders

Nothing

Nothing

Only ever Nothing

fill it with something,

still there is nothing

Empty space empty void

no grace no factoid

nothing random nothing simple

it may be empty

but how could something be empty...

its filled with nothing

so it must be filled with something

filled with nothing

A void

a hole

a crater

everything I throw in I may think about later

in the vast internet, there is only ever empty space

which can never be replaced

every time something is thrown,

when you look back it has grown

 Mysterious and tedious

I feel ever so envious 

of the people able to take space

surrounded by clones and trash

they stand a mass the rest

The tall are crowned the best

while the lower only jest

could I climb up and not feel like a pest?

Still empty

still clear

will I ever get out of here

Empty space

Empty space

I will fill the empty space

Reviews

[JayG]

• I mostly just started writing, no plan or thoughts

Then you won't be surprised to learn that it reads like someone who's not bothered to learn the skills of poetry that have been developed overcenturies of writing it.

Seriously? You expected to do that and not make the beginner's mistakes that cause the reader to turn away a line or two in?

I looked at your posted fictionr. Same thing.

Look...the writing skills you were given in school were taught for one reason: To ready you for the reports, letters, and other NONFICTION that employers need. Tthose skills are designed to inform. But both poetry and fiction readers expect to be entertained. But your school-day skills are 100% useless for that.

You want to write? That's great. But you can no more write fiction or poetry without adding the skills of those PROFESSIONS than can you perform a successful appendectomy with the skills learned in health class.

For prose poetry, grab a copy of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook.

For Metrical poetry read the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on any bookseller site.

For fiction, grab a copy of Debra Dixon's, GMC: Goasl Motivation & Conflict.

Continue guessing as you have been and you will re-discover all the invisible-to-the-author mistakes that the pros figured out how to avoid long, long ago.

[Nico]

Thank you for your comments, however you must know that you are speaking like a privileged child on a CALL OF DUTY LOBBY. You are being a try hard on literature, (and while that is okay) you don't have to push that onto others. Your words and tone spread more hate and negativity then most German soldiers in WW2. Again, thank you for your comments, but if you want to be helpful, focus more on positively reviewing and summarizing rather than just saying I am a highschooler.

[JayG]

> You are being a try hard on literature,

Literature? You've not taken the time to learn even the most basic of the skills that writers have been refining for hundreds of years. So naturally, you're making ALL the newbie errors. And as Harper Lee put it: “I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.”

All your bitching about my having taken time I didn't have to give you to suggest some resources that can help, improves your work not-at-all.

You want kinder comments? Look at the resources I gave you. It's that simple. This isn't school, and writing, both poetry and fiction are professions. You can no more write poetry and fiction that works with the reort-writing skills of school than can perform surgery with the skills of Health Class.

• but if you want to be helpful, focus more on positively reviewing.

Hmmm... I've sold my work to publishers in long and short form fiction, poetry, and nonfiction; I have 30 books on Amazon; I've taught writing at workshops; I owned a manuscript critiquing service—all of whiich you would know had you bothered to do ANY research.

But you, of course, expect positive words on something you say you wrote because-you-were-bored.

I don't give out gold stars for finding the keyboard.

[Nico]

you are immature to rant this long and not summarize it, instead bragging about your books and teaching despite no traces of you at all (your bio link doesn't work). You keep comparing writing to surgery, but that is one of the worse comparisons ever. Difficulty doesn't matter when you are writing for yourself. I am trying to improve, hence why I am writing without a plan. It's not a matter of wanting kind kind comments, but less bragging, more on point, and maturity. Isnt the purpose of this site to get reviews from fellow writers, not just opinions but support?

Also, would like to point out that I tried to understand you, even look at a bright side of you, but none of it was helpful. I know you are older than 70, live in Pennsylvania, claim to be formerly apart of the Air force, and the "books" you have written and published (Books is in quotations because I cant find a trace of them unless you are referring to the ones on this site). Point is, I cant see you as helpful, especially because your writing is comparable to AI.

[JayG]

• "You keep comparing writing to surgery,"

That’s because it IS a profession. Universities offer degree programs in it, just-like-medicine. And who would take either, if you could use your grade-school skills with success?

Stop thinking like a child. The WRITING pros aren’t people who sat down and decided to write. The rejection rate is 99%. And most hopeful writers create over a half-million words before selling a single word. As with any profession, it takes study, work and extensive practice.

You’re trying to defend your guesswork writing by finding fault with me instead of improving YOUR writing skill. But have you not noticed that you’re getting no comments, while my posted work here gets multi pages of positive comments?

Stop reacting as a 15 year old and THINK. I suggested three resources that could make you a writer/poet. But you can’t be bothered to read a word. You want praise without having to earn it.

• "Books is in quotations because I cant find a trace of them unless you are referring to the ones on this site"

You didn’t find them because, in reality, you didn’t look. Had you Googled, “Jay Greenstein novels,” or Jay Greenstein fiction,” or typed my name on Amazon, B&N, Smashwords, Apple, Kobo, AbeBooks, Goodreads, or ANYWHERE, the list would hasve popped up.

But...since you know so much more than I do, it should be easy for you to prove how wonderful your scribblings are: Sell something.

I’ll wait.

[Nico]

I am not defending my work per say.
I admit I am bad at writing hence why I am writing here in the first place.

-"You’re trying to defend your guesswork writing by finding fault with me instead of improving YOUR writing skill". I am not blaming you for my faults nor relying on you, I just enjoy the angry banters of a man living far past his age. (If you couldn't tell, I have been Rage baiting you this entire time.)
"Jay Greenstein novels"
I had no Idea what your last name was, Jay is a very common name as well as the initial G, other than that, there are no points of figuring out who you are on your "about me" section of this website. I wouldn't bother doing more research because I have things to attend to in my life.

I would also like to state that I am attempting to improve my writing, as I write more beyond just this singular poem you have read. Writing isnt a job of mine, nor do I want it to be (while it could be a great opportunity), I mostly do it for fun and in admiration of the writings I have seen. yes they wont be perfect, but who cares? why should they?

[JayG]

• I had no Idea what your last name was,

And never noticed that it was part of the link just below JayG, or that there WAS a link.

• I just enjoy the angry banters of a man living far past his age.

Yeah, A man who, in 88 years of living has literally been all over the world: Okinawa, Israel, Germany, Canada, Mexico, France, Holland, &Brazil, and in every state in the US. You?

I’m someone who designed the communication processor on the US Presidential Airborne Command post, who began designing computers and computer equipment in 1960; someone who convinced 7 acquiring editors to say yes before I went the self-release route. You?

I can wallpaper a room, design and build a staircase, wire a house and boss a house rehab team, and rebuild a car’s engine. You?

I’ve been involved in sports car racing, sailing, and scuba-diving. I’ve been a cubmaster and scoutmaster.

And while doing that I married an amazing woman and helped raise three talented kids, who have rewarded my with amazing grandchildren—one of whom, at only 12, has already appeared in a professional theater production.

Lived far past my age? I’m too damn busy to die.

But you, who write because you’re bored; who lashes out because your work wasn’t praised; who's too lazy to read a book, but wants to write one, feel you can lecture me, and be taken seriously?

• I would also like to state that I am attempting to improve my writing,

No, you’re not. You learned the nonfiction skills you currently use in school, not by guessing, but by being taught. And those skills will not work for either poetry or fiction. Keep writing with those skills and all you'll be doing is hardening bad writing habits into concrete.

Someone took time to help you become a better writer, which angered you. Ignorance is no crime, and, is curable. Willful ignorance? That’s not.


Do you want respect? EARN it.

[Nico]

-Lived far past my age? I’m too damn busy to die.
I said you are past your age not because you're old, but because the newer generation is growing up and has different interests and maturity than you.

Look at what you commented, you have lived a busy life, yet mine and so many others have just started. I don't know why you feel the need to validate yourself through your age and wisdom, but I have already accepted your opinion since the beginning. I don't need your respect, nor anyone's for that matter. Writing should be an art of expression, no matter the skill level. Its a beautiful showing of humanity. And Yes, as you said before, that I didn't "learn the skills of poetry that have been developed overcenturies of writing it." but there is many types of literature and culture. The point of development is diversity and improvement. when something doesn't improve, its simply new ground to grow from. I may not have read what you have recommended me, but it's almost impossible to not expand someones knowledge and skills in this world. Everything can be literature if you add at least a single word. Music, Poetry, Stories, Hiakus, Scripts, and so much more. The only way to deny yourself any expansion is b not being open to change, by not being open to opinion, to new experiences, to the world changing around you.

The only post I would believe where I was angry is the second one where I practically called you a Nazi, and forgive me for that tone and teasing, but as for the rest, none are meant with anger. Perhaps you see me as an angry teen or middle aged man, but don't assume everyone online is a hater, or angry.

[JayG]

• I said you are past your age not because you're old, but because the newer generation is growing up and has different interests and maturity than you.

And it never occurred to you that with grandchildren an integral part of my life, what you say is blind speculation made without input.

• the newer generation is growing up and has different interests and maturity than you.

Children always think that. But kids in Ancient Rome were focused in exactly the same thing: Growing up, assuming adult responsibility, and making a living. Do otherwise and you’ll be too poor to indulge in any of the social things you see as important now.

The person working Gutemberg's print shop would APPEAR so much less knowledgeable than a modern person sitting at a computer. But Gutenberg's apprentice could BUILD that press. You? You press keys, without a clue of what's going on inside that computer.

Social interests don’t count. And you’re ignoring the fact that your own postings, here, are ignored, while mine receive pages worth of positive comment. Were your assertions right, that-would-be-reversed.

You have a TV in your house, but no clue of how it works, other than using catchphrases, like, "It takes a signal, and..." You use lights witches with no clue of what makes them work; a microwave that uses technology that might as well be magic to you. You show no desire to know, but feel you’re superior simply because you use it.

But NONE of that, and none of what you said has to do with the fact that your "fiction" is written with zero knowledge of HOW to write it, while the only one commenting on your fiction was your alter-ego.

And instead of working to acquire the needed skills—to become competient—you’re wasting time arguing with someone who made the foolish assumption that you came to a writing site to become a better writer.

Want to impress me? Grab that Debra Dixon book, read it, and then explain why what she teaches isn’t necessary—because that IS what you’ve been saying, that what you’re doing shouldn’t be criticized simply because you did it, and that knowledge is unnecessary.

In fact, I’ll make it easy. Here’s a link to where you can download it, free:

https://dokumen.pub/qdownload/gmc-goal-motivation-and-conflict-9781611943184.html


“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’ “
~ Isaac Asimov