She cries

 

To the moment, that didnt last,

she cries,

To the corn field, for blooming at last,

she cries,

To the city, thats moving too fast,

she cries,

To the agony, that whispers past,

she cries.

 

 

To the rain, that's coming too slow,

she cries.

To the winter, that laidens the snow,

she cries.

To the unknown, that nobody knows,

she cries.

To the one, that has nowhere to go,

she cries.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Star Cross]

Well-written and great usage of repetition. I really like the whole concept of it and how the writer has placed emotion into this poem.

[PoetryXpressions]

Nicely done, enjoyed....thanks for sharing.

[Pakino]

Having she cries brings a different feel to the poem. If you change it with something else you will get a totally different perspective to the poem. Interesting.

[Kayla]

This was very intersting. This poem has such depth. Great Job!

[Vlazuvius]

I liked this, but is "laidens" a word? I've never heard of it before.

[Natalie]

Wow, I really like this work~ It's hard to make a poem that's repative, and you Struck this right away.

"To the corn field, for blooming at last,

she cries,

To the city, thats moving too fast,

she cries, "

I love these lines, How you showed both sides of a reality. Throughout this poem, I love how crisply you contradicted these views. Very well done! Keep up the amazing work~

[Fra/c/ture]

the first few stanzas of this were really enticing, and i think maybe a revision to focus more on them would help this. it seems like you start off really focused on something in the beginning, and i can picture someone in a lonely cornfield and someone in a city that wont slow down...

then in the second stanza the poem relies on more generic images which arent as strong. if you are up for a revision, id maybe play with the first part more, and either expand it just a bit to improve on its mood, or trim it down further to really just leave nothing but a suggestion for the reader to expand upon.

the cornfield and the city really work well as contrasting settings/images,.