good-bye to a lonely day

Light drifts as it fades away
Good-night cries the distant light of the dying day

I am lost in the distance
looking for crystal blue hidden by hues of red

Where the sun goes and sleeps
The distant star that falls like dreams and bleeds from a sky driven blue to red


Waters dance on the placid stage
Ripples reflecting the suns breath as it sings good-bye upon the sky
Such we see the last seconds of heavens day

A point of no return
Where mother’s call is soften by the last seconds of the day
And “good-bye; I love you” is echoed by natures vision in return

And as the blankets of water lay the fire to bed
The distant yellow turns a crying red

The day is gone
The sun sleeps
The night is quiet
And only the silver light of the moon, for now, creeps

Reviews

[R.M.C]

Great poem. The best I'm read of yours... unbelievable use of imagery, so beautifully laid out. I love the way you've used Personification to really bring the sun alive, to really make the reader feel how beautiful the sun really is as it plays across the world.

[nocool]

thanks for the kind words dude ;)

[R.M.C]

All true my friend.

[Ashley Arita]

This poem really gives me a warm feeling to a soft and colder feeling. It really plays with your emotions. I love how descriptive you were and the personification of nature. My advice would to maybe out more powerful verbs, and to give maybe more descriptions of nature in general. This is an amazing poem however. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[nocool]

Thank you for the advice. "more powerful verbs"(can you give an example?)
I have no idea what you mean

[Ashley Arita]

Your welcome. Powerful verbs as in verbs that have a lot of emotion in them. For example, instead of 'turn' try 'transform'. Same meaning, but 'transform' has a bit more of an attitude to it.

[nocool]

ahh.. got ya.. ty