Alienation

Self obsessed? Scared to death.
Of others? Of Themselves.
Rejection.
"Look at me!" - their emotions scream
to only throw the pennies of themselves,
as if they'd lose by simply
displaying pieces -
works of art.
sharing is caring.
somebody might not
pick it up.
Her poetry is
wealth, she says.
pouring her hot liquid metal soul
into a nice but very paper bowl
sprinkled with ink and a little bit of
gold, the pennies
that she put for me
on that red shabby table
taste like the flour dust in her
plain pizza.
I digest it.
Next?
"Next time."
How many times are next?

What does a plastic bottle smell like?
You've never known
that you know what
it smells like, unless you smell
the unwashed vessel.
"What does your sadness taste like?"
I digest it.
You want my pennies?
I gave you my soul.
Leave me alone.
go.

I'm going to the caff - supply
Unlimited
but only till you
go.
I saw my ex's ex
eating alone.
Does she care?
If I ate alone and didn't get it
to go
that'd mean
that what I've planed to eat
won't fit
in a container. I even change locations
not to be
an entertainer of my own
judgmental gaze.
She eats alone -
a sign of confidence?
Or insecurity and desperation ?
I'm walking towards
women's restroom.
tears - not in my eyes -
tearing my rotten soul.
I pour my dimes and quarters
mixed with Diet Pepsi
into the toilet bowl
sprinkled with stomach acid
and a little bit of gold.
I flush
The pain
Unlimited
but only till i
go.