Such a Pretty Mess

This is part of a personal essay I wrote about my "quarter-life crisis".

We met at my best friend J's party around two months ago. Everyone was drunk, if memory serves. I pushed A-girl who I'd invited to the party off his lap, slurring “He only has one penis!” and though I don't quite recall saying that in particular, he remembers it... And that sounds like something I would say, anyway.

I ended up in an empty bathtub with him by the end of the night, blabbering about all the pricks I'd seen sucked and sat on. I'm not sure how I got on the topic... We both stuck around the next day waiting for J to sober up and drive us to our respective homes. He and I helped clean up the mess in then house, from the previous night while we waited. Soon after, we ended up messing around in J's basement. Even though I knew he really shouldn't like me (and probably didn't), he was polite enough for me to like him. I didn't plan on seeing him again.

I think I got a friend request on Facebook from this guy the next day. I accepted, wearily and then quickly got annoyed with him. He'd posted on A-girl's wall like crazy. I'm a jealous person, and I suppose I simply wanted whatever attention she was getting. After all, I was the one who had him in my mouth! She'd merely been flirtatious and intoxicatedly intriguing...

Online he still seemed cool enough. We exchanged numbers. We talked...though I was sure it was cause I was more likely than A-girl to “give it up”. And I not long after we did f**k.

I went over there more than I'd intended. He had an quiet apartment. I hated my house and my family. Besides that, it was less trouble for me to get to his place on Friday afternoons, then to get home. And luckily, on weekends my parents paid no mind to my whereabouts!

I was always a semi-moody b***h, with him, but no more than I've been in any other guy. Any guy I'm involved with gets attitude from me! The REAL problem came in around two weeks after we met.

I sat in my closet at home one weeknight and spilled my guts to my case-manager over the phone. I never really talked about sex with an actual adult after the point when I actually started having it. She didn't even know I was “sexually active” at all in the first place. My case-manager yelped that she'd set up an appointment to come see me the next day.

She gave me this speech about “Love and respect and self esteem”... all the things I never took into account when I fucked around. I always thought that having casual sex and having high self esteem were two completely unrelated things. She asked me “if [I] even liked him?!” I felt more nauseous than that time when I thought I pregnant, my senior year of high school

The next time I went over there nothing seemed right. We did our thing, and then he wanted to play the video-games on his x-box. His roommate got home. I decided to go home sooner than I'd originally planned. Him and his roommate both walked me to the bus stop. I hooked arms with him, and then he hooked arms with his roommate on his other side. The three of us chatted until my bus came and he gave me a hug goodbye. He yelled something corny as I got on the bus.

I texted him as soon as I got home: “Did things seem off too you tonight?” I said. He texted me back “Huh? :-/” I really just wanted to let it go.  

Author's Note

I need help with grammar, and spelling. Also let me know what you think of the characters and situation. :-)

Reviews

[_Hanabi_]

The grammar and spelling are fine....the characters are quite good...the situation was a bit off but i liked it....gd job....hope to read more of ur writings sometime
Natty.