The Mysterious Man

A simple story of a guy named John walking through a busy highway , what could go wrong ? "This is my first time to post stuff like this so I accept criticisms :) "

The street light dimly lit the place, while cars are going at high speed, and rain pours viciously this night. John is waiting for the traffic light to turn green, when suddenly a man walks up beside him, wearing a dirty blood stained tank top and sliced open pantaloons. John palpitated and frightened on how he might be with some serial killer, a snatcher or worse, “That’s a nice bag you have there…” the mysterious man said in a rough voice , John just did a simple nod , his heart beats faster, thinking that he might get snatched or get stabbed , his thoughts divert his mind for a long time until the traffic light finally hits green, John was relieved and walk as fast as he can to at least get away with that mysterious man , then at terrible fate a guy with a mask ran towards him and points a gun at him , “Hey! Give me everything yah got! Give it to me right now or I’ll pull this trigger goodbye!” said the snatcher while unnervingly pointing the pistol at him, John’s palpitation has gotten worse , his blood froze cold and his legs shiver as if it was vibrating , “Ple…ase..sir..just let me go!” John said, “Not going to give it to me huh? Goodbye then!” the snatcher replied, as he was going to pull the trigger the mysterious man kicks the snatcher and painlessly let go of the gun, the mysterious man hastily picks up the gun and point at the snatcher, “If you don’t want to get shot then get out of here!”, the mysterious man replied, the snatcher ran with fear and John is still palpitates on what he had witnessed , “Kid just try not to walk here alone at night”, the mysterious man repeatedly stomps on the gun until it was left into pieces and silently walks ahead. 

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Short, sharp piece. Nice dialogue too.
Your grammar is really good.
For such a short piece there was quite a lot going on in it and I for one appreciate the time which you put into this.

Nice read.

Mark.

[Darkswing]

That's a lovely story. Would like to read more. It has a nice twist.