Victimized

Screaming through closed doors 

Cold, stiff
The chill chaps my lips
Licking the dried skin slowly 

Healing them temporarily 

Involuntary jaw movements

Spread my skin out
Put me on your cold metal table 

So you can feel free to take
I won’t turn away
I’m already too abused

I know how it feels
Use me again
I’m no longer clean 

Purified: I will never be 

I’m immune to the feeling

It doesn’t hurt anymore

My mouth doesn’t scream
I still cry as my morals die
It’s getting colder
Thin hair upward upon goose bumps

Hands pressed so my circulation is cut
White light bulb above my head
Making me squint
Too many people think I want their sympathy

It’s too late
I don’t have a leg of pride 

As I’m told not to cry 

Shut the f**k up
You don’t understand

You can worry all you want
It doesn’t change what happens 

I’m alone in this
I want to free myself

Instead
I’ll lie here
On this icy surface
Taking what comes 

Pretending nothing’s wrong

Suffocate my brain
Choke my lungs
Cold tears drip
Face looking to hide
Because they don’t understand 

They don’t need to

Not this time