A Sharp Realization at the Shore

The beach poem's a rite of passage, eh?

it's strange to think

that the first thing you do when you

come home from the beach

is shower

as if you weren't dying for salty

skin and hot sandy hair

like i was

like you only went

to wash it all off

it's terrifying to think

that every time you go to the beach

you go with me

-"

Reviews

[Angi]

Oceana,
This piece speaks volumes. The sand and salt become too much after a day of sun on the water. I always feel the need to scrub when I get home. You tying that feeling to that terror in the last lines makes for poetry, my dear! Sad, terrifying poetry. Angi~

[ChemicalMadness]

This is really well done. Ill be honest and tell you the right-justification takes some getting used to....I find (for me) it sometimes interrupts flow in a cumbersome way - so I tripped once to twice reading this. You might consider a break between "like I was" and "like you went"....the two ran together and broke the otherwise captivating pensive vibe you had going. Does that make sense? I know you are always considerate of your formatting, so im just giving you my opinion here.

Content-wise, it's compact and powerful. Particularly effective use of 'terrifying'...to me, it's the most powerful focal point of the piece.

CM

[Oceana]

Thank you for the suggestion, and the review :)

[Mark]

Some love the beach, some love the mountains, and apparently some love just to go where you go. LOL

[Oceana]

Very true. Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the logic of the poem. I use to spend the complete day at the ocean. I like the feel of the salt water on my skin. In the days of old. Ocean was used to cure many sicknesses. I did like the ending. Always better to beach with two people. More to see and enjoy when you are with good company. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Oceana]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Coyote

[icelandicblue]

We do so many things just to undo them. I like the ironic message in your poem.

[Oceana]

Thank you very much, icelandicblue. Your words are appreciated

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so are you trying to wash me off?

cryptic message there...i love the between the lines...i like the salty taste of this...i became immersed in the poem's water...and i am not going to take a shower.

jacob

[Oceana]

Thank you Jacob, your reviews are always so kind. I especially appreciate how you find a way to incorporate the words of the work into your review. Thank you.

[Mother Maggie]

Very well crafted. I see in the words of the speaker a fear--the apprehension that the loved one being spoken to is dissatisfied with the relationship or with the speaker.

It is like the speaker is seeing beneath the dislike of sand and salt to something darker and more devastating. I have felt that fear and if you are speaking from the heart--you needn't fear because by your skill with the written word, you've shown the greatness of who you are.

Namaste and Blessed Be

[Oceana]

Thank you endlessly for your kind words and review