Of Lifeboats and Roses

Random poetic rant about my failed attempt to woo a lady.

Of lifeboats and roses,

Of gardens and shores.

Of half-eaten courses,

Of head-cracked walls.

 

Of offshore dreams and wishes

Of victory and defeat

Of misspoken murmurs

Of honesty and deceit

 

Thus was the episode

One Tuesday evening

When my lonely tongue spoke

Of my accounts of drowning

 

Different things could have been spoken

I could have chosen better words

Like, “A single rose could be my garden;

And a single friend could be my world.”

 

So ends this corny rhyme

And whatever trouble this so causes

I just might dream one more time

Of lifeboats and roses.

Author's Note

First work in a long time. What do you think? Please leave a comment...

Reviews

[lalacom]

The beginning was wonderful, however the poem's meaning wavers close to the end. There is no conclusion of either the situation or the emotion which triggered you to write, although you could have finished by simply closing a full circle with the first verse (which I think was wonderful). keep writing!

[nicolo]

"A single rose could be my garden"
ayus :)

[Kesha]

Wow I had to read this a few times, I really enjoyed your words and ryhmes! :) I must say this is quite excellent! Just as Brendon said you only have that one chance to say the right thing to the right girl! This is just flat out wonderful! :)

[Brenden Taylor]

I think I see the closure because I've been in that awkward situation before. That situation where you only have one chance of saying just the right thing to the right girl. It's a very delicate situation that's notorious for resulting in failure. And when it does fail, you always walk away knowing what you should have said.

Maybe what you're trying to convey is everything that you're mind was thinking about before you told your drowning story, thus distancing you from the moment and causing you to say the wrong thing. And then with the last line, you jump back into the rush of images and emotions you present at the beginning

[Hannah Paige]

"Of lifeboats and roses" in itself is a poetic statement that feels sweet on the tongue.

The lead up that you created in the first two stanzas was very good, but as the poem went on, we got no closure, and it became unclear what the poem is really trying to convey