[untitled]

Just some Gothic haiku I love so much...

Glaring sand

Against the black surroundings

Elusively dejected.

Reviews

[paul]

your poems make me think: wonderous

[Salvatore Buttaci]

How easily we are fooled by appearances! I like the poem.

Sal

[windmill]

Note: anything under 17 syllables can be considered haiku. So that's fine.

Nice imagery. I'm glad this isn't every old run-of-the-mill 'haiku,' which... dunno... Lacks the brevity and beauty haiku should hold. This is... yeah. It works. It's pretty.
Thanks :)

~

[Jane Doe]

'Elusively ejected' I love that line! This is a wonderful poem, thank you for sharing!

[Fantasyfairy]

Perfect phrasing and excellant feel to it. Well written and nicely done. Makes the reader think about what is written before them, and that doesn't happen often. XX

[Sparrow]

I love your ending line "Elusively dejected". I liked the depth to this piece although it took a moment to mull over and pick apart. great job on making the reader consider your poem for longer than it took to read and thank you for submitting it to my contest, True Talent.

-Sparrow

[Susan S.]

I've felt that haiku should have an immediate and visceral or at least pleasant/sad effect on the reader. This haiku just doesn't achieve it. The layers and layers are there, but it takes time and effort to reach them. One more thing... the syllables for the lines should be 7-5-7

[Wordcrafter]

Oh.. I love this Arlecchina. I think haiku is an acquired taste, but once it bites you, it is forever.. the succinctness gives a very a precise, exact focus to what one wants to say. This one is beautiful, the opposites glaring-dejection, giving depth.