My Dog Fights Crime!

A satirical look at toxic masculinity through a perspective of a braggart to their neighbor.

My Dog Fights Crime

Verse One
My Dog Fights Crime

What the hell
Does your dog do

My Dog Fights Crime

Here’s his medal
that’s my proof

My Dog Fights Crime

He locates bombs
And guns and drugs

While your’s sits
around all day
And licks it’s stinky butt

Verse two
My Dog Fights Crime

airports and docks
his stomping grounds

My Dog Fights Crime

He’s James Bond
Of the canine realm

My Dog Fights Crime
He’ll thwart extremist plots

While your’s is trying to decide
Where it should take a dump

Bridge

He’s been bred to love
But he’ll charge a vandal down

He’s gotren so many collars
I think that I’ve lost count

Got his face inked on my chest
Can’t you tell I’m super proud

My dog’s busy fighting crime
While you own a worthless hound!!!

Verse three
My Dog Fights Crime

He’s a hero
in the public eye

My Dog Fights Crime

Which means by proxy
so am i

My Dog Fights Crime
My Dog Fights Crime
My Dog Fights Crime
He also banged your Corgi
My Dog Fights Crime