Paradox

Paradox

"Quod me nutrit, me destruit"

That which nourishes me, also destroys me

 

Logic tells us we need food to survive, this however, is not about logic. This is not health and sensibility - eating less or exercising more. This has nothing to do with the numbers on the scale, nor the ones on nutrition labels. This is not a fairy-tale and it's nothing like that popular girl who naturally weighs 80lbs. This is not about size zero runway models or sipping diet coke. This is not about deliberately hurting people, as they watch you cry over that single piece of chocolate. Or getting that cute guy to beg for your number. This is not about wanting attention. Self-purification, social protest, or helping all the children in Africa.

This is about having no self esteem and no life. A slow suicide. This is being afraid to eat out because you know people are staring. Weighing every thing that passes your lips, including mouthwash. This is intense self hatred. Secrets, lies and shame. This is about being unable to accept the need to eat, and the right to live. This is losing the ability to look at food without seeing numbers. It's about being in control when the reality is you're not. It's avoiding the camera, even at your Mothers wedding. This is about too many choices and too much pressure. This is obsessing over calories, because acknowledging anything beyond that is a terrifying thought. It is telling more lies than truths; the biggest of which is "I'm fine". This is throwing up blood and fainting in the shower. A coping method that will quite possibly kill you. This is being sick, and yet never sick enough. This is an identity that robs you of all you used to be.

This is not about food

Author's Note

Hi everyone,
I just want to say that I don't consider myself to be able to write well, nor do I understand what to write or how to go about writing a 'good' piece of work.
I have never written anything besides the requirements for school English.
However I'm applying to do a fine arts degree next year and part of the interview process involves submitting a piece of written work along with my portfolio.
I would hugely appreciate any and all feedback/critique!
also; I'm unsure whether what I'm trying to say is paradox or irony?
P.S. sorry for submitting this as a poem, I have no idea what it really is.

Reviews

[TBPopper]

Well my one critique would be exactly what you already touched on--I'm not sure it qualifies as a poem. But hey, who cares?

Excellent quote in the beginning, really grabbed my attention and made me think 'Huh. Latin. I'm on board'. I sit here now, and find myself wishing that I had something profound to say. Unfortunately, I don't.

I liked it. I liked it because it conveyed emotion very well, and it comes with such blunt honesty that you can't doubt for a moment that it's anything but genuine emotion.

I just liked it very much. Wish I could offer a more in depth critique.

[Dani]

This reminds me of Ana's Song, by a band named Silverchair. It's the first song listed in the playlist on my profile, if you'd like to listen.
I actually really enjoyed reading this, mostly just because of the way you wrote it out. Hard to believe you struggle with words :P Some people would consider it a complicated subject, but.. eh. I think you explained it pretty well, really.
Hopefully this isn't out of experience. Good write.