Why I Am Scared For Fall

I am scared for the fall

Because summer was

Everything I wanted

Needed, 

Prayed for it to be

But my floor is still messy

Covered in scrapbook paper, clothing

A cup of 

Blueberries

Fall means

Get ready for the flurry 

Of holidays, school days that

Softly roll

A snowball down a hill

Busy, Busy 

Busy

Until-

Well, It's just scary

Because last fall

I forgot 

Among it all

How to take care of me

And yes, I know

That this year things are different

I have new muscles

New ideologies

But I am scared 

Because I don't want to 

Be in pain like I was

Feel the scrape and the numb

And feel the bone crushing 

Cloud suffocating 

I could

Not 

Breathe

And the chilling thing was

To others, even to me

All it looked like

Was autumn leaves

Falling delicately