Is it still me?

I don't know...

Being able to feel his collarbones and ribs and hipbones
upset me so much,
because mine weren’t the same.
And I would feel so sad,
because he was so beautiful
and I did not deserve that.

Catching him staring at me

made me miss our past

because nothing was the same.

And I would feel so empty

because who I was, is gone,

and he didn’t deserve that.

Watching him fall asleep beside me

used to make me feel so safe

because he would never let go.

But now he has

because this has gotten to my head

and neither of us deserve this. 

Author's Note

Rough copy/may add more

Reviews

[Mark D]

Very interesting. I can't decide who has created the situation, you or him.

Well written thought provoking piece. You know what you are doing more than you think even if it's only natural.

Well done again!

[MoriartyMesa]

I get a picture of a fireman saving someone. Something raw and natural made me think of something like a burning building, and someone to make that last dash rescue.

[Kyle]

I think this is done.....i dont see that adding to it would help much. I think you need to make sure that the message is there and not overdo it. I tend to write too much and then kind of ruin it...lol

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

You write so beautifully :)

[Hotwater]

Strange and compulsive reading... I'd leave it as it is... it gets the mind going.
*bird*

[Nishant Gupta]

ur poem is really nice write, do have a look to mine "QUEST OF LIFE"-
" it is about how one neglects his life ,pondering about this precious gift of nature unnecessarily ".

[Antonio Valentino]

Antartica.. wow.. hey that should be the name of my country, my name is, Ant onio lol

nice piece here, it could use a little polishing up but it has a solid framework from which to build upon, it has the passion, just nail in the trim and put a roof on top and she should be fine..

stay warm
Antonio