Shiny Stone

observation

She settles in her silence

As a stone in a glass of water

That no one thirsts for

 

Muffled to sound and

Her vision rippled by

Another drop that is added

To an etched crystal glass

 

A tear that goes unnoticed

Except to me

Hiding behind bound metaphors,

Profound allegories, and

A cup of chamomile tea

 

She becomes a muse herself

In all her muted melancholy

Set against a sunny window

Is a stunningly shiny gem

 

She floats out the door

As if pushed by a wave

With the look of being alone

At the bottom of an ocean

Reviews

[Michael Sun Bear]

That truly must be one of the most unique opening stanzas I have ever read. You certainly seized my attention. I love how the third stanza speaks of metaphors and allegories before offering up a cup of chamomile tea. I also love: in all her muted melancholy. Thank you Patricia for offering us this interesting read.

[Betty Hermelee]

excellent.P….the words are exquisite to portray this muse, this amazingly lonely soul, that, it seems, everyone overlooks….I can almost visualize her sadness by your vivid descriptions of her” within the look of being alone at the bottom of the ocean”…..and the juxtaposition of sunny and melancholy…is so creatively crafted…love it!
hugs, B

[Patricia]

Thank you B. I do love going to the cafe and people watching, they make great muses but lately I have been finding quite a bit of sad people, makes me sad for them.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

What great imagery in the first stanza. And I have to love those bound metaphors considering I actually use a metaphor once in a while.
One trait of your poetry at which you excel is alliteration and the motion it gives to your work.
j.

[Patricia]

Thank you so much j. I really don't try to alliterate, it just comes out that way, my muse whispering it in my ear I suppose, she is quite generous and I do love her. If the ringing in my ears would stop from me losing my hearing maybe I could hear her better but she manages to get through when I need her. You are so kind Hugs!

[Lorry]

Well this has sadness writ large over it, I think... as my first impression would have been "oh, that sounds awesome - apart from the melancholy (the only melon I don't like)
Just remember that no matter how lonely that stone becomes, it still looks beautiful and shiny.

[Patricia]

I just write what comes and what I see, she seemed very sad but she was beautiful. I hope she found her smile when the sun came out. Thank you for reading and commenting Lorry and good to see ya again.