Twelve Years, One Ring, and a Shattered Heart

How I'm feeling this week

We met in the Winter of a bizarre time,

When love was a song, and the world was a rhyme.
Twelve years we danced through sunshine and rain,
Through laughter, through trials, through joy and through pain.

We built something sacred, or so I believed,
A home full of echoes, where hearts once relieved
Their burdens in silence, with just a warm glance,
We loved, we fought, we gave fate its chance.

Nearly twelve years, and then one final vow,
A ring, a promise, sealed in the now.
A marriage, at last, like the stories once told,
A forever we swore, in the softest of gold.

But forever was brief, less than a year,
Now all that remains is a cavern of fear.
How can a decade dissolve in a breath?
How does "I do" collapse into death?

We have a child, a confused little son,
A piece of us both, where two had been one.
What do I say when he asks where you are?
How do I explain a love fallen far?

He sees the tears that I try to hide,
He hears the sobs I let slip at night.
What wounds will he carry from this cruel divide,
From the ghost of a love that used to be right?

I am broken in places I can’t even name,
Shattered reflections in memory’s frame.
I reach for you nightly, but you're not there,
Just silence, and shadows, and cold empty air.

There’s a pit in my soul, no ladder, no rope,
A place where the echoes extinguish all hope.
I scream down the darkness, it swallows my cry,
And I wonder each morning how long ‘til I die.

I mourn not just you, but the life that we made,
The laughter, the rituals, how we both stayed, 
Until we didn’t, until we broke.
Now love is a lie, a cruel, bitter joke.

I miss your voice in the quiet of night,
The way we would hold each other so tight.
The plans we had made, the dreams we once drew,
The "someday" we painted that will never come true.

What did I miss? What didn’t I see?
Was it the slow kind of death that comes silently?
Or was it a spark, a moment, a crack,
That widened too fast, and we can't get it back?

I feel like a failure, a ghost, when you just ran,
Still clutching a blueprint with no final plan.
This pain has no bottom, this grief has no end,
I lost not just my husband, but my partner, my friend.

I carry this hurt like a stone in my chest,
A weight that denies me even small rest.
Each memory cuts like a jagged shard,
I loved you so deeply. I loved you so hard.

Now I’m drowning in silence, too hollow to scream,
And the life that we had feels like someone else’s dream.
Twelve years, a lifetime, now dust in the wind,
I don’t know how healing or hope could begin.

This pit is my prison, this sorrow my chain,
And I don’t know if I’ll ever feel whole again.
But I write these words to remember, to grieve,
For a love that was real, then decided to leave.