Field of Stones

 

I remembered a time when I once
Shouted defiantly at the blue wind
While god Ra looked over the mountain,
Each cloud hinted at its own personality

I stood on the empty beach and it
Seemed to me that everything was a god
Being unique was at the same time
Impossible and inescapable

Next the field where a hundred red calves
Had been born, I waded up to my knees
In bullshit and placenta, wondered
Where the green green grass had gone

Over the stile and over the fence
Where each wom-man had to make up their mind
About who they were and where they’d been
and what they’d seen that day

Hug dead man’s wall and look down below
At the present, past, and future, as it
Runs, runs from you as innocent as
A baby in a stream, our god’s dream

Could never be so complicated
Never so bittersweet as what is now here
It lives and breathes and changes as I
Live and breathe and change and walk and wade.

Author's Note

Reviews welcome!

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Hey great write; full of tension, imagery and passionate wordplay! Can I make a suggestion – to add drama to the stanza flow – perhaps revamp the format as follows – only a suggestion of course it was a good read as it is … :-)

I remembered a time
When I once shouted defiantly
At the blue wind

While god Ra
Looked over the mountain
Each cloud hinted at its own personality

I stood on the empty beach
And it seemed to me
That everything was a god

Being unique
Was at the same time
Impossible and inescapable

Next the field
A hundred red calves
Had been born

I waded up to my knees
In bullshit and placenta
Wondered where the green grass had gone

Over the stile and over the fence
Where each woman and man
Had to make up their mind

About whom they were
And where they’d been
And what they’d seen that day

Hug dead man’s wall
Look down below
At the present, past, and future

As it runs and runs from you
As innocent as a baby in a stream
Our god’s dream could never be so complicated


Never so bittersweet
As what is now here
It lives and breathes

And changes as I live
And breathe and change
And walk and wade

[paperwizards]

Thanks! This was really a great help :)

[¿]

Loved both yours and Phill Oz O'fee's scribblings....why not when two wonderful women did!! Great write from you and read for me!!😊