Tiles

You know the floor tiles they put
in kitchens and in classrooms,
the ones with little flecks of brown on them
so you can't tell when they get dirty?
Sometimes I feel like that.
Like I was made with little allowances
so people could mistreat me
and leave muddy footprints as they passed me
and I would be no worse for wear.

And you know those padded cushions
they put on walls in high school gyms
so that if people don't look where they're going
they won't get hurt and sue the school?
Sometimes I feel like that.
Like I have a little buffer
to guard myself against other people
so that I can go about my life
while people bounce off my barrier
like I'm not even here.

But, you know those cartoon movies,
where something awful happens,
like a death or a war or a curse,
and the horror is glossed over
with songs and flowers
and the story is happy anyway?
Mostly I feel like that.
Like there are some terrible things
that have passed before my eyes,
but I can choose to live another way,
a way with rosy cheeks and golden curls
and the people who watch my cartoon movie
have no real choice but to believe what they see
for I will show nothing else.