Forest's Presence

Driving out into the darkness

With towering trees all around us

When is it going to end

 

The car stops

what’s out there

is it only me

or is there someone else

 

Running, breathless, into the forest

something around us

and I know it’s real

but I can’t stop

 

Into the forest

It’s beckoning for us,

The mystery in the trees

Something is out there.

It’s coming for us,

Or is it just the dew

Riding on the breeze

 

A presence all around us

I can feel that it’s there

Scared out of my mind

We must

Make it out

of this forest

But I’m not sure if I want to

Author's Note

This is an older poem of mine (definitely not one of my best works) and I would love some feedback on it! Personally I feel like the word choice sounds a bit cheesy and underwhelming, and I'd appreciate any tips :)

Reviews

[Malcolm Johnson]

I like this poem. Writing about nature and forests always seems to produce strong emotions, both positive and negative ones. I like how it seems that there is something keeping this person in the forest while also being scared of some force within it.

Overall I liked it, but it may have been more compelling had you described the forest in a little more detail. I would have liked to know what the trees, the flowers, the grass look and feel like. Good work.

[Blysful]

I enjoy how there’s this sense of urgency and fear, almost paranoia in the language you use.
Then to cap it off with that switch to ‘not sure if you want to’ leave this place that until then drive this fearful sense leaves a lot to think about, which I always enjoy :)
Thanks for sharing this!