Memories

Memories... Amazing how they can sweep right in and surprise you with buried emotions, refused tears, or unencumbered joy.

For Leah, it was the former two.  All it took was a familiar song playing on her car radio, and suddenly she was overwhelmed with the painful reminder that a certain someone was no longer a part of her life.  That certain someone being a dark haired, blue eyed technological genius who had somehow managed to sneak into her heart- despite her best efforts at emotional distancing.  The fact that he was so different from her normal "type" made it all the more difficult to remove him from her thoughts.  Not only had he had opened a door to a whole new idea of living life to the fullest, but he had somehow taught her the beauty of doing so.  Their near year-long entanglement was almost like a dream now.  Or a nightmare.  Leah couldn't quite decide which yet, so she resolved to crying those pitiful tears as the song that brought it all to the surface finished playing.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the song ended as did her emotional outburst.  Wiping the evidence from her tear-streaked face, she took in a deep breath and noticed she had driven her old, beloved '94 Chevy Cavalier to the State Park without getting lost.  She found a close spot to park and hopped out, ready to put her energy to good use.
The sun shone down warmly on her back, but she refused to allow it to seep into her heart.  Not even the beauty of this day could erase the heartache that seemed permanent.
Bending down, she double-checked the laces on her running shoes, and tightened her ponytail.  Considering the effects music had on her these days, she was happy to hit the trails without her ipod.

She stretched for a few minutes, then made her way to a familiar unpaved 3 mile trail that would run parallel to the river.  There was something about water that soothed her nerves, and she was grateful to have this time to herself.  Walking turned to jogging, and as her feet pounded the soft earth, she felt her mind reaching for a file of more memories...memories she wished with all her heart that she could forget.
Her heart was hammering inside her chest as she picked up speed, hoping in vain that it would stall her thought process.  But to no avail...

"I think I'm falling in love with you... " Brandon's gentle words were barely more than a whisper against her hair.  Lying in the sun, snuggled closely to each other, Leah let the promise of his words sink deeply into her heart.  It was the first time she'd ever heard such tender words from a man, and she relished the effects they were having on her.
"Oh yeah?" she turned playfully in his arms so she could look up into his brilliant blue eyes.  They sparkled when they met with hers.
"You have no idea." He smiled, then pulled her even closer to himself. He kissed her forehead and snaked his fingers around her ribcage, knowing full well she was uncontrollably ticklish there.
"Ahh!!! Stop!  Brandon!" She couldn't help laughing as she fought against him, trying to escape. It was useless, of course.  He was much stronger than her, a fact she delighted in.
When he finally released her, she sighed in contentment.  Her heart was so full.  She loved how they could play together, laughing and tickling like children.
"I love that face, right there." Brandon kissed the tip of her nose. "The one that tells me you're undeniably happy. I love seeing you so happy."
"Well, you make me happier than any other person ever has.  So you, sir, are entirely to blame for it." her words came out quietly, resonating with her soul.
His expression suddenly turned intense, his eyes drinking her in.  She could feel the shift taking place, and she relaxed into it.  His eyes shifted back and forth over her face, resting on her lips.  He wanted her... She knew it, and welcomed his attention by leaning into his body, tracing her fingers through the slightly curly hair around his ear.
His hands made their way into her long hair, pulling her closer. He lowered his mouth to hers, just brushing her lips.

Leah was pulled from the memory when her foot hit a dip in the trail, making her lose her balance. She nearly stumbled, but was able to catch herself before it was too late.  Her heart thrummed heavily, and she struggled to catch her breath.  Plopping down on the ground, she fought the heat from the following memories that grabbed for her attention. No! she yelled at herself. I'm not going back there!
Why did love have to complicate everything?  Why did lost love have to hurt so deeply...? She wanted to cry, doubting that the answers would never be found.

Author's Note

How did it sound to you? Did it flow together? Were her memories clear and unhurried?

Any opinions welcome!

Reviews

[Thom]

Some of this felt very real and powerful. The "memory" sequence was particularly striking, and felt pretty true-to-life. However, other parts just didn't feel realistic. If a song comes on to remind you of someone you miss, do you think about that and feel sad or just burst into tears? Maybe if this happened immediately after his death (not sure if that's what happened in this case but really that's the only thing that would make this realistic) it would make sense, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Also, if the last sentences are an insight into her thoughts, some of them just didn't work. "Why did lost love have to hurt so deeply?" is not a thought that human beings have. So yeah, really just the phrasing and vocabulary at times seemed forced and awkward, but otherwise the story managed to be quite poignant.

[Songbird0510]

Thanks so much for taking time to read this and comment. I appreciate it! Also, thank you for the review. Its funny, because the things you said that didn't flow well or seemed forced are those spots that I struggled communicating. :) I almost scrapped it entirely because I was frustrated with the way it was coming out, but I figured I should post what I had in order to be critiqued. Thank you so much for your help!!