soon

the wind dying soon lonely

like the night

for the moon

the night for the moon lonely

the wind dying soon.

Reviews

[...]

. your words are so moving ... and yet so beautiful ... they play like a song ... and consume the soul ... loneliness is haunting ... it takes over ... possesses ... the wind must be grateful ... for the leaves that fly with it sometimes ... but when that happens ... the trees get lonely without the leaves ...

[...]

oh when will i
actually die
oh when oh when oh when

oh when will i
say goodbye
i can't even count to ten

i count three before two
i forget to smile and laugh
oh i am so blue
and you cut me in half

[...]

my premature death
is in my every breath
where once lived a kiss or two

my premature death
is in my every breath
but it means nothing to you

[Wondering Mind]

Very nicely and cleverly constructed with lovely expressions. Thanks for sharing

[Miss Coral]

Beautiful piece- the repetition would have seemed too much in other pieces, but fit wonderfully in this one.

Great write.

-Coral-

[Emily B]

did you see the moon this morning? early before the darkness faded . . . it was exquisite, the wind thought so too

[alan peter kelly]

lovely write...my favourite so far...concise eloquence...

[emmah]

a tree alone
with its shadow
danced a dance exquisite -
the moon quietly witnessed
the art of the lone leaf.

there is such a delicate sadness here - as if a feather touch would bruise the despair - haunting, moving, beautiful - yes, serah's right! - this is a song - rendered to the quiet rhythm of a starry sky - dripping in melancholy - a song it is!

[Isolophobe]

quite clever. its really more than just words being moved around, every line and stanza presents imagery complete with emotions attached.

[Crinkle°]

so beautiful...

[Ed Hart]

they sympathize and praise your flow of words, while i'm trying to grab the tail of your kite